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“I never went back to sleep,” he says. “My mind kept turning and you were out like a light. I think harnessing that lightning took more out of you than you realized.”
He’s right. Though I’m awake now, the groggy feeling is lingering. “What have you been doing all day?”
“This,” he says, reaching out and flipping the page of the book.
“Wait, go back. I’m not done.”
He looks at me for a moment, impressed. Then he turns the page back and I finish reading the spell, putting it away in a compartment in my brain and memorizing it.
“Okay, now you can turn the page,” I say with a satisfied nod.
“You memorized all that?” he asks.
“I think so.”
“You’re a wonder, Rose Harper,” he says appreciatively, brushing my hair behind my ear. “Let’s see if having a real witch here pleases the book. I assume if it didn’t want you to know the spells, it wouldn’t have let you read it.”
“That’s what I figure,” I admit. I don’t add the part where I’m wondering if I’m also the book’s new guardian. Does the demon need to be replaced? Or was the demon always holding the book hostage? Did I free it?
Valtu starts flipping through the pages, some with text, some blank. With each blank page we see, his shoulders deflate more and more. “I just don’t get it.”
“Maybe the book is done,” I say, but I don’t want that to be true either. How else will we find Bellamy? How else will we defeat him?
“Maybe,” he says quietly, sounding dejected.
“Can I ask you something?”
He glances at me through his lashes, eyes skimming over my face. “What?”
“If you only took the book because you wanted to erase me…”
He sucks at his teeth, his gaze darkening.
I peer at him. “That was why you took the book, right?”
“Actually,” he says carefully, “I’ve been told the reason I took the book was to bring you back from the dead.”
“You were going to bring me back from the dead?” My brows go up.
“A spell for necromancy.” He licks his lips, and I can’t tell if he’s burdened or relieved by the confession. “That’s all I ever wanted. And when I couldn’t find it, the spell of erasure appeared. Tabula Rasa. I knew what I had to do.”
I can’t pretend that it doesn’t hurt. That erasing me was something he had to do. On the otherhand, I do understand. Valtu lost me twice before, we lost our baby twice, and on the third try at our destiny, he killed me. I can’t imagine trying to live with that kind of guilt. I understand why he chose not to live with it all.
But it does have me thinking: how will I die this time around? I know I’m a vampire, but last night I came very close to dying again. I said it’s luck but I can’t expect luck to keep me alive forever.
Is my destiny to always be with him?
Or is my destiny to always die?
“What’s wrong?” he asks softly. I blink and look at him while that new revelation sinks in and he gives me a strained smile. “You have to forgive me when I talk about these things so matter of fact. I just don’t…”
“I know. You don’t remember. It’s fine.”
I switch the subject by leaning over and flipping the blank page and as the page is turning, I swear I see ink starting to form on it.
“Wait!” Valtu cries out and he immediately flips the page back.
Ink is filling up the page as we speak and we both watch with open mouths as it forms into legible text.
