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“It would be worth it if it let you live longer, wouldn’t it?”
“I suppose,” he murmured. He read further down the list. “Nausea, dizziness…”
“If either of those happened, it would just be until your body adjusted to the medication,” Amy said. “That wouldn’t be permanent either.”
He laughed. “Would anything on this list be permanent?”
And then his laugh died out.
She knew what he had seen. His gaze was fixed on the bottom of the page. But she hadn’t actually imagined that last item was going to be a problem for him.
“Infertility?” he asked.
She assumed he must not understand. “It’s different from impotence,” she said. “You’d still be able to engage in…sexual activity.” She felt herself blush, and she hated it—it shouldn’t be so difficult to talk about this with a patient.
But then, she hadn’t usually had sex with her patients, so it was probably no surprise that this was more difficult.
“I know what it means,” he said a little sharply.
“Okay,” she said, sitting back in her chair. “I’m sorry. Not everyone knows the difference.”
“I’m a fairly educated man,” he told her dryly.
She nodded. “All right. Well, is that a problem for you? Infertility? Were you planning on having children?”
He put the sheet of paper down on his desk. “That’s not really something I’m prepared to discuss with you,” he said.
“As your physician, I’m here to help you with things like this,” Amy said. “If you’re interested in fatherhood, there are other options that might be pursued—”
He stood up. “This conversation is over,” he said.
“We haven’t made a decision about the drug,” she protested. “Adriano, I think you need to start this medication as soon as possible, to give it the greatest possible chance of working. Whatever you might think about the side effects, if it’s something that can prolong your life, it’s worth it, isn’t it?”
“I don’t want to discuss this any further right now,” he said. “You know where the door is.”
Amy shook her head. “You’re making a mistake by putting this off. The sooner we make a decision and start the drug, the more effective it is likely to be in treating your condition. And we’ll be able to measure the results quickly. We’ll be able to find out if it’s working or not. Don’t you see how significant this could be to other people with Barks-Howard’s?”
“I told you I was done talking about it.”
Amy sighed. She should have known—he wasn’t interested in other people with Barks-Howard’s. It had only ever been about him, about what he personally needed. She’d thought, when she had found out that his money was being used to fund Romano research into all kinds of projects, that she might have misjudged him. But now that she could see how little effect the needs of others had on his decision to try this drug—
He really was being senseless about it. He wasdying. This was the thing that provided the best chance at saving him.
She was about to settle in for the long haul and force him to have the conversation, no matter how little he wanted to, but just then, the phone rang.
He picked it up without looking at her. “Hello? Yes, this is Mr. Canali.”
He turned his back to her and continued to talk to whoever was on the phone, and Amy knew that their conversation was over.
With a sigh, she turned to go, leaving the paperwork she had brought over on his desk for him to review. She was just going to have to hope that in the course of time, he would make the right decision.
She felt frustrated as she crossed the lawn back to the guest house. It wasn’t as if she was pushing this drug for her own benefit. She wanted what was best forhim. Couldn’t Adriano see that?
He was going to have to learn to trust her if this was going to work at all. She could tell that, so far, he hadn’t been able to do that. He’d been insistent on making every decision for himself.
That wasn’t going to work. If he wanted an expert on the premises, he was going to have to listen to her expert advice.
Somehow, she would make him see sense.
