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“Took you?” Luna frowns.
“His son had cancer, so yes, he took me and forced me to heal him. And then he kept me there for two years in case he relapsed. He wasn’t mean to me. He gave me a nice room, kept me safe, and promised he’d let me go afterward, but I’m not sure if that would have happened.”
“Wait. Gerardo is, was, Alejandro’s father, right?”
I nod, and Slade curses in disbelief. “So, the guy gets a second chance at life thanks to his father and you, and the first thing he does is kill the old man and lock you up?”
“Um, yeah. Well, sorta. He wanted me to be his wife. I said no. The locking up part came after.”
Slade looks at Jagger. I shut my eyes and take a deep breath to focus before opening them once more.
“I’m not in cahoots with him, you know, if that’s what you’re going to say next. You have no idea what he was like, the things he did to punish me. He made me watch while he—” I swallow down bile climbing up my throat and shake my head.
“But you could heal them, right? He knew that,” Creed says, confused.
“He would kill anyone I tried to help, and even I can’t bring back the dead. But even if he didn’t, there are limits to what I can do. Some for my safety, some for my sanity.”
I look over at Luna, who is sitting quietly.
“The more damage to the person, either by injury or sickness, the longer it takes me to heal, not just them but myself too. I take on what’s wrong with them, like you just saw. I heal faster than they do, but that doesn’t mean I don’t feel every ounce of their pain.”
“But you do get better. Not everyone does. I’m not saying I want you in pain, not at all. But I can see why it would be hard for people to understand why you’d place your needs above theirs.”
I flinch at her words. Zig growls her name, but Oz is the one who stands and leans over her.
“Me and Zig are only here because of her. Punctured lungs, loss of blood, broken arms, damaged kidney, fractured skull, brain bleeds, venomous snakebites, and bullets.” He rubs his neck, remembering the last wound I healed.
“She saved us from it all while feeling every second of it herself. Do you understand that? Understand what kind of courage it takes to do that shit over and over? Do you know that she passes out? That she stays out of it for hours and hours, meaning she’s completely vulnerable? Now ask me how many people other than Zig and I ever thought to make her safe.
“You’re all thinking like Cooper. About what she can do for everyone else. But none of you are thinking about what she needs. How is this amazing woman with this otherworldly gift the most needed person on the planet and the most unwanted?”
His chest heaves, and I stand up and slide my hand into his. I don’t think I could put into words what it feels like to have both Oz and Zig in my corner.
“Oz,” Orion warns him, but Oz just ignores him.
“It’s fine, Orion. He has a right to be pissed.” Luna sighs.
“You were only making a fucking point. One I’m sure others were thinking about too.”
“No, he’s right. I crossed the line,” she says, and looks at me. “I’m sorry.”
“I understand that this is a lot. I know you have questions, and I know you won’t like all the answers I give you. That’s your prerogative. But you should at least wait for all the information before you pass judgment.”
“We’re all just trying to understand,” Halo says, keeping his tone light.
“You can’t. And that’s okay because I’d never understand what being in a motorcycle club is like. Sure, I could make an assumption, but I’m guessing I’d be wrong.”
I look around the group, trying to think of the best way to put this. “If you could do what I do, would you hand yourself over to the US government?”
Orion opens his mouth but closes it again.
“Would you give up your freedom so you could be tested on every day for the rest of your life, in the hopes that they might be able to replicate what I can do in someone else?”
“I don’t know,” he answers.
“Would you lie there filled with pride while they strap you to a table and expose you to deadly viruses and infections so they might one day find an antidote? Would it bring you joy to be cut into so they could see how quickly you could heal? What about when they start taking limbs to see if you can regenerate them? Would you be honored to take one for the team? What about when they begin to forget you’re human and just treat you like a test subject, and the days of pain and torture all just blend into one? That’s okay, though, because the sacrificing of one for the potential lives of many is all that matters, right?”
My chest is heaving as I fire my words at him. “Then, just when you think they’ve done all they can, they bring out people for you to heal. Burn victims, rape victims, and you get to feel it all. And when that’s not enough, they bring you serial killers and pedophiles so you can try to heal whatever is wrong in their brains.” I suck in a deep breath and blow it out.
