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A bleakness hits her face. “Fuck you.”
I almost laugh. Avah swearing. I only had to tear her to pieces to do that.
“Get your things. Congratulations, Avah, you get to go wherever you want today.”
As I stalk past her I realize what that pain is.
My heart is breaking.
To make her happy, I have to hurt myself.
I don’t want to let her go. I don’t want to push her away, but isn’t that love?
Sacrifice?
“No.” She whirls around and, in jerky movements, starts shoving things in a bag. “Send my things to my dad. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. I’m never forgiving you. I’m never seeing you again. Goodbye, Nicolo.”
ChapterTwenty-Four
AVAH
Tears blur my vision so much that before I can quite reach the airport, I have to pull over.
The hurt is a storm inside.
Nicolo. The man I went and fell in love with not only tried to pay me but shoved me out his door so fast my head’s still spinning.
I grip the wheel tightly.
I ran.
But he pushed.
And I- I hate his life, but what the hell is this thing in me that’s like someone’s carved out my insides? A life away from mafia isn’t going to solve my hollowness. I’m still my father’s daughter. To really get away, I’d have to cut ties with him too.
I suck in breath after breath as I lower my head against the wheel.
“What are you doing, Avah?”
Nicolo. . . he doesn’t want me.
He doesn’t.
Except, as his face comes to me, the expression as he looked at me leave was grim, cold, and so full of pain it’s like a knife to my heart.
I ran from home. I’m running from him.
Mia and Blake and Scarlett. . . their words come back at me, slapping my face.
They’re all different, and they chose love over some idyllic life they might have had in their heads.
“He didn’t offer you love. He didn’t.” I gulp over the hot lump in my throat as my sinuses tingle and burn.
Isn’t that the thing? He didn’t.
Because somewhere, I know that I didn’t get a choice. I didn’t get to decide what I wanted because he didn’t want me.
Tears fall, and I swipe them away.
