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“I’ll sleep down here.” Logan, flopped out on the floor, can keep me company.
Max’s gaze falls to his feet. “There are spare rooms if you’d rather.”
“I’m not tired.” Everything’s too much for me right now. I won’t beableto sleep.
“I have pills if you need something to help,” Ben offers from a nearby spot. He’s been gazing out of the window into the lit-up gardens, lost to his thoughts. I presumed he wasn’t listening.
I shake my head. I’ve never wanted to rely on drugs. I wanted to will myself better.
“It’s the only way I can sleep,” Ben murmurs. “Function. I took all sorts to keep me awake while I searched for her.”
I can’t shoulder anyone else’s hurts and burdens, I’ve too many of my own to nurse. So I stretch out on the sofa, close my eyes and justbreathe.
Like this, we hunker down for the night, dozing on sofas and working our way through sandwiches and fruit as we wait for updates and phone calls. For dawn to come. For the new day to bring renewed hope.
We get a call mid-morning. The police have verified the names and addresses I supplied. They’ve established links and locations, and are on their way to Amsterdam to meet with Dutch and Belgian police.
The good news breaks through our caution like a tsunami.
“I’ll call Ellis and my parents,” Max says, picking himself up from the sofa. He walks towards my spot, brushing a hand across my shoulders before pressing a kiss to my temple.
We’ve not spoken about us. That can wait. I can’t do anything but focus on seeing these hell-men in handcuffs, the women in their cellars and bedrooms and basements free.
Two hours later, we’re in the air. Shortly after that, we’re pulling up at the De Vries estate outside Amsterdam, Logan panting excitedly from his spot in the car.
At some stage, I learn that Sabine has been missing since July the twelfth while on a work trip to Belgium. A lawyer for the company, she visited a diamond dealer and his lawyers but didn’t return to the hotel as planned. At first, the family thought she’d been taken for a ransom, but none came. Just days, then weeks, then months of silence.
Because I know what Tilly went through, Max’s pain magnifies mine.
It’s Christmas Eve and I feel as un-Christmassy as possible. All my usual excitement for this time of year has gone. I exist on tenterhooks, held together by one breath tied to the next as Max escorts me from one place to another.
I meet Max’s parents who hug me for a very long time. They treat me like I’m treasure, a special jewel. Barbara has a graceful look to her face, probably helped by the strings of pearls around her neck. Nils is tall and wiry, with grey hair and a smile that’s bracketed with dimpled lines in both cheeks.
“How are you doing?” Max asks.
“Coping,” is all the answer I can give.
I don’t know how Max hid all this from me. If I think on it too much it makes me sad and angry and bitter. I want to attribute his ability to deal with a crisis as an inner strength that knows no bounds, but maybe he’s just a very good actor. “You?” I ask.
“Same. Anxious. I just want to fast-forward until I know the outcome.”
I wonder if he’s talking about us getting over this huge problem, or finding his sister. Perhaps it doesn’t matter.
We pick at some food, our appetites eroded. And being back in Amsterdam makes me profoundly uncomfortable. It makes me think of Jonas, so I pull out my phone and send a message.Hey. Hope you’re well. Happy Christmas!
It feels so incongruous to be normal, but I need to try. Try and avoid thinking too much about what happened. Luca liked to talk when he raped me and now I’m hoping he wasn’t lying.
I think you’re prettier than the other grey girl. Frank disagrees. He sold her for half a million dollars to that Belgian cunt, Wertens, but you’ll get me more. I know it. Fuck Frank Armitage and his fucking girls.
Maybe your buyer will keep you in his Antwerp palace too? But he won’t treat you like his prize. Only I do that, hmm? Like this. Luca Russo treats his prize girls like this.
Stop crying! Do you think buyers, important cunts and politicians like Wertens want girls who cry? Lie there like a good doll and take it.
You’re going to make my boss a very happy man. So many men want to buy you! So tonight, you fuck Diego. He wants to try your magic cunt. Tomorrow, you make me rich, you make Alvaraz rich. Maybe I will be my own boss now.
Luca didn’t expect to sell me to anyone but a depraved sex offender. Why would he be worried about my memories? About what he said as he violated me?
And yet here I am, a phoenix rising from the flames of his downfall.
