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“No,” he replies firmly. “I’m not a predator. You enjoy it when I hold you down or pin you,” he reminds me rolling to his side.
I don’t admit to anything but he must read agreement on my face.
“So do I.” He gathers my hand into his and runs a thumb over the faint marks that remain from my captivity. “Wrapping you up in rope is something I want to do, when and if you’re ready.”
Fear swallows me, but knowing Luca and his web of contacts are in custody has me breathing more easily. “Do you need it more than cold water swimming? More than a cuddle with Logan?”
My question wasn’t meant to be amusing but Max smiles wryly. “I think this is a hobby you don’t need to add to my CV.” He chuckles, adding, “Seriously though, swimming clears my head. And it’s much more accessible than Japanese rope bondage. It’s not for everyone,” he says carefully. “Though I hope it is for you.”
I want to try it. I want to see where my limits lie. “And Logan?”
“Cuddling Logan is also a necessity. Between him and swimming, I’ve managed to just about stay sane since Sabine went missing. Since I gave you up.”
I frown. “You gave meup?”
He nods, his palm gliding along my outer thigh. “I thought it was what you needed. What was right, for you.”
I needed him.And the subdued, regretful tone of his voice tells me he knows that now too.
“Don’t break up with me,” he pleads brokenly. “I swear on my life you’re more important to me than anything else. Give me a chance to fix this, I beg you.”
“We should get ready,” I say in answer. “Your family must be wondering where we are.”
A short while later,showered and dressed, we head downstairs to greet his parents and siblings. Despite the little sleep we’ve had, it’s easy to celebrate when there’s so much to be grateful for. Ellis is the life of the party, his constant teasing of Max something I quickly adore about him.
“How thick is the ice on the pond?” Ben asks Nils.
“As thick as Max’s skull,” Ellis butts in. “Plenty thick enough to skate on.”
Max rolls his eyes, chuckling. Then he turns his attention to me. “Fancy skating? We have so many boots, I’m sure some will fit.”
Opposite me, on the other side of the rustic-looking kitchen table, Ben and Sabine hold hands. She catches my eye, urging, “You’ve got to do it! It’s a family tradition if we’re here for Christmas.”
Family.
The DNA results will take a few days yet, but as I gaze out of the window, seeing a hard frost glittering back at me, I think about my connection to the people surrounding me. It would be so easy to get sucked into their orbit, to cross the event horizon of the De Vries black hole and never look back. And naturally, I want to fall into that vacuum, to be swallowed by Max’s consuming energy, by his family’s.
But I also need to be smart about this.
Twenty minutes later, all seven of us walk to the pond, ice skates dangling from our fingers. The grass is hard underfoot, crunching with every step I make. The grounds are impressive, the family home an old residence from the eighteenth century which might have been a castle at some point, or at least a fortified residence. It sits in three acres of woods and landscaping, the pond a short walk from the house.
Sabine tips her head, signalling me closer. I excuse myself from Barbara’s side, smiling at Sabine as I match my pace to her slower one. She’s still weak. Kept indoors for months, she hasn’t seen daylight except what filtered past the iron bars at the windows of her prison.
“Are you okay? I haven’t had a chance to ask today.”
I blow out a breath, looking skyward. “Yeah, I guess. How are you? How many times can I ask you that by the way? It feels like you’re asked that a lot.”
She smiles in acknowledgement. “True. But I’ll take a million annoying questions for a while before I tire of them.”
I offer a sad smile. Last night, Sabine and I made time to talk. Nothing was off the table, our conversation cathartic and harrowing. Like me, she has a number, but hers is inked onto her forearm. From what she’s told me, her surroundings were luxurious compared to the stark room I was held in, and Wertens didn’t share her once she was bought. But she suffered just as I did before her sale.
“Things okay with Ben?”
“Yeah. He’s been great. It’s taking some adjustment, but we’ll get there.”
I nod along, knowing exactly how she feels. I hope she has better luck than I did with Jonas.
“Did you and Max make up?”
