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If that thought leaves a sour taste in my mouth, I ignore it before grabbing my tome of a bio stats book and delving in. There’s something that settles my nerves about focusing my attention on schoolwork. It’s safe. Kind of like wrapping myself in a warm, cozy blanket. After twenty minutes, I roll to the side and yank open the nightstand drawer to grab a highlighter. The pink one. As I bring the tip to my mouth to pull off the chewed-up cap, I notice a folded-up square stuck under the small plastic bar.
Unsure what it is, I tug it free and open it. When it’s spread out across the page of my book, my gaze scans the crinkled paper.
Bucket Listfor College
1. Make out at the library
2. Skinny dip
3. Karaoke
4. Get drunk at a party
5. Romantic date
6. Orgasm (with another person)
7. Dance at a club
8. Sex in a public place
9. Skip class
10. Fall in love
Talkabout a blast from the past. It’s the list I made after high school graduation when I was sitting home while all of my classmates partied their proverbial asses off. Including the guy in the apartment next to us.
I know this because I was spying from my bedroom window and watched him get dropped off by a couple of girls in a convertible before stumbling to his front door. Then, I continued to stare as Lindy Mavis climbed his body like a tree and made out with him.
In that moment, I’d felt like the world’s biggest loser for working so hard and earning the distinction as valedictorian for our graduating class. I’d vowed that college would be different and came up with a list of experiences I’d have during the next four years.
My gaze roams over the paper for a second time.
I’d almost forgotten about this list. In fact, I thought I’d chucked it after sophomore year when I’d moved out of the dorms.
The last three years have sped by and now, all of the sudden, I’ll be graduating in the spring. An odd sort of discontentment steals over me. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy to be moving on with my life, but I had assumed I’d do more than study at the library. I’d thought there would be parties, activities, and boys…
You know, collegy things.
Fun things.
It’s not like I couldn’t have been going out on dates and getting to know more people, but I focused on my classes in an effort to make sure I could get into my choice of med schools. I’m graduating with a near perfect GPA. Honors up the ass. Every Greek organization that looked good on a resume—other than the social ones—I joined and presided over.
There’s something to be said about setting yourself up for future success, isn’t there?
But still…it’s hard to believe that absolutely nothing has been ticked off this list.
Other than studying, what else did I do with my time?
I’ve been to a handful of parties but never drank more than a cup of beer. And even that was a struggle. I mean, it’s not like it tastes very good.
My gaze gets snagged by number six, and I huff out a breath.
I’ve attempted to cross that one off my list several times.
With a couple different guys.
Most of whom didn’t seem too concerned if I got off or not. In fact, one actually tried to tell me when I mentioned my lack of…release, that girls don’t come as often as guys and that’s just the way it was.
