Page 31 of When We Were Eighteen

Reluctantly, I lifted my head. I wasn’t ready to let go and face reality yet. Instead, I pulled the blanket open, wrapped it around me, and leaned back. It might not be his strong arms, but it was warm, cozy and unfortunately, it was all I had and would have to do.

The house was too quiet and all I could hear was the beating of my own heart. I wasn’t relaxed. A moment later I tried to adjust myself, but I still wasn’t comfortable. Tossing the blanket off I sat back up. “How could he sleep on this thing?” It was comfortable to sit on, but as for lying down, it sucked.

So much for sleeping in late today.I was wide awake, with nothing to do.Nothing but think about Damien.

That wasn’t going to accomplish anything but leave me feeling...empty. I’d been so absorbed in work and finding my family that I hadn’t been out on a date in a year. Even though our outings that week didn’t qualify as dates, hell my mother was with us most of the time, it was still amazing. All vacations in the past had been just me and mom. This time, Damien stirred things up. Not all in a bad way either. My mother showed me that even if she didn’t approve of my choice, she loved and supported me anyway. That was good to know because once she learned what I'd been up to, I was going to need her understanding and support more than any other time in my life.

But one thing that Damien and I lost because my mother was with us, was the chance to talk about the updates he had for me. Even texting was risky. If my mother saw anything that looked off, she would start questioning me and I wasn’t sure how I’d be able to hide the truth if she did.

There was nothing to prepare for work, and I had no plans for the day. So I grabbed my laptop and looked for a movie to watch, but as I hit search, a photo of a beautiful beach with a couple walking on it holding hands popped up.

Now this is the type of beach I want to be on.

It made me think about Damien again. He was supposed to be working on finding my family. What was he doing going off on vacation? Didn’t he understand what this meant to me? He could go and lay on a beach another time.

I couldn’t believe I had forgotten about where he was headed. I had thought he had been more dedicated to finding my family, but maybe this vacation had already been planned and paid for. Can’t knock him for that. It’s not like the surprise vacation my mother had just pulled on me.

I’d somehow pushed his vacation out of my mind and when he said he was flying out back to the US, I treated it as though he was going back home.Not to a tropical beach filled with beautiful women.

I closed the laptop with a little more force than required. What the hell was going on with me? It felt as though I was jealous. Of what? I had no idea whom he was going with or even what Tabiq was like. Until he’d mentioned Tabiq, I’d never heard of it. It can’t be all that impressive of a vacation spot. And even if he was going with a woman, it was none of my business.

My foot tapped on the floor as I stared at the computer.Damn it.I lifted the cover and typed in Tabiq. Not because I wanted to know what he was doing. I was just purely looking at it as an educational opportunity. I don’t want to go through life ignorant. And if Tabiq was in fact a country, I should know a little about it. You never know when someone from Tabiq will come to our restaurant to eat. It’d be nice if I could say something about their country to make them feel welcomed.

I chuckled to myself knowing that I was trying to lie to myself. Although I prided myself on learning something new each day, this had nothing to do with the restaurant and everything to do with Damien.

My fingers typed in Tabiq again. The first thing that came up was a picture of a stunning woman, with long straight dark hair, olive skin, and dark eyes. It said she was President Reesa O’Connor. I read a little about her and was impressed. There even was a photo of her with her husband. I could see where the name O’Connor came from. Mom and I had traveled to Ireland and the president’s husband definitely has Irish features.

I went to look at the photo gallery and there were many pictures of the island. It was lush and green and had so many different flowers, some that I’d never seen before. I loved flowers and could spend hours researching each type and trying to find new ones that would survive in Canada. I made a mental note to return to that page later when I wasn’t looking for what was so alluring to Damien.

Bet it isn’t the foliage.

Moving along to the next tab of photos, I came across pictures of the beaches and crystal-clear ocean. Now, this was something that would make a person want to book a flight right then. If I showed these pictures to my mother, she probably would kick herself for not accepting Damiens’s offer. Then again, she wouldn’t have enjoyed herself lying on the beach if she was wondering what I and Damien were off doing.

For a country I never heard of before, someone had really taken the time to create a website to attract tourists. The resort, New Hope, seemed to have everything a person would want to do on their tropical vacation. But if you weren’t a beach person, there didn’t seem much else to do. It might be considered strange, but I’d grow bored. I love to sit and read, but I am someone who likes to be up, and on the move instead. Horseback riding, hiking, and skiing were some of my favorites. Mom hated them all.

I moved onto another tab labeled ‘virtual tour’. It took you through a town of small shops and restaurants. I did love shopping too, but it seemed as though they sold more everyday practical stuff and not really collectibles or tourist memorabilia. That’s strange. I’d have thought they would want to get the tourists into the town and spend money instead of staying on the resort’s grounds. There had to be more that wasn’t being displayed on the website.

There was one more tab. More photos. But these were different from the rest. It wasn’t scenery or buildings. They were filled with people of Tabiq. Children playing outside, riding bikes, and adults enjoying the restaurants. But as I looked at them more closely, I felt my hands begin to tremble.

The women had long straight dark hair. The men had straight dark hair as well. It wasn’t like here in Canada. A melting pot of so many ethnic backgrounds that everyone looked different. I swallowed hard and blinked trying to make sense of what I saw. It was as though I was looking at a family album instead of strangers. My mother easily could be in any of those pictures and look as though she belonged. I could feel my heart beginning to race as I looked at the pictures again and again. There were so many similarities.

I’d always known that my mother wasn’t born in Canada, because of her accent. No one else sounded quite like her either, not even me. I had her dark hair, but the only time my hair was straight was when I had time to use the straightening iron on it. And my eyes were hazel. There was only one thing I had just like my mother, her year-round natural-looking tan.

We’d traveled to so many foreign countries and in every place we went, I hoped it would feel or sound like home. Some accents sounded close, but none were spot on. I hadn’t heard what a Tabiqian accent sounded like, but if I went strictly by appearance was it possible that she could be...Tabiqian?

I guess anything could be possible, but if she was Tabiqian, wouldn’t she have jumped at the chance to travel there with Damien when he invited us? I know that if I were from Tabiq, if that was my homeland, I would’ve. But then again, mom and I were different. She didn’t seem to need anyone but me.Is it wrong that I need more?

This only ignited the need for me to find my family stronger. Staring at the photos wasn’t giving me any answers, asking mom was going to be even more of a waste of time. All I could do was talk to Damien about my suspicions when he decided to reach out to me again. Hopefully, that was while he was on his vacation. If not, then I guess I’d have to speak to him next week.

Could Damien be in Tabiq looking for my family? Did he suspect or know something I didn’t? I don’t believe in coincidences, but why would he have invited us to go if he thought that’s where my mother was from. He surely would’ve known she would have declined his offer.Which she did.I wasn’t a PI and I don’t watch mysteries. Trying to figure out what Damien was up to only made my head throb. I needed to trust that he would tell me if he learned anything.

I could feel the frustration building inside of me. I felt as though I had no control over this part of my life. I hated it. But I wasn’t going to spend the entire day sitting here feeling sorry for myself.

I closed my laptop for the second time and then grabbed my cell phone.

“Hi, Mom. Did I wake you?” I asked.

“Of course not. Is everything okay?” she asked.

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