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We walked for an hour,past fae after fae who were all working on moving rubble, before we finally made it to a part of the city that was in better shape. There were even more fae there, clearing out what little rubble remained.
As another half an hour passed while we walked, the rubble disappeared entirely around us, and we saw a few fae in the normal red and brown clothing of the earth lands. They all seemed to be focused on building, and they each had a few wind fae around them, helping with something. I couldn’t tell exactly what.
A long way in front of us, I saw what looked like half of a castle. It appeared to be growing slowly, which I assumed was the work of more earth fae.
Though I wanted to ask Odin if he could feel what they were doing, or how many of them there were, I remained quiet.
He hadn’t said a word to me, and that was making me self-conscious.
Usually, he was the enthusiastic one. The unshakeable one. His constant, vocalized care and actions made me feel more secure in vocalizing and acting on my own emotions. Without that proof that I hadn’t imagined everything between us in the last few weeks, I felt…
Uncertain.
And I did not thrive in uncertainty. Not even a little.
It made my heart beat faster, and my stomach churn, and my lungs feel tight.
I was ignoring all of that, though. Not ignoring itwell, but ignoring it.
I already itched to remove my hand from Odin’s, though. I’d feel more secure, I thought, if he wasn’t holding it. If he made the distance that I could feel between us more clear by letting go of me.
Odin remained silent as we continued to walk.
I battled with my emotions, and mostly lost to them. Like always.
As we reached the castle, I slid my hand out of Odin’s. His head jerked a little in surprise, but he didn’t protest.
And to my overthinking, newly-mated mind, that was the beginning of the end for us.
I was looking too deeply into everything, and I knew it. He’d just been told that he’d been kicked out of his land, despite years and years of service, after all. It was reasonable for him to turn inward and get quiet and whatnot.
But I wasn’t reasonable.
My thoughts never were.
And I just couldn’t keep holding his hand while I felt so insecure in our connection. We had completed the mating process, but only to see if he would regain his vision because of it. Not because we were in love. We weren’t in love. We were just… friends.
Or at least, we had been friends.
I was feeling uncertain of that too, after two hours of walking in silence. It wasn’t even the silence that bothered me; it was how out of character the silence was for Odin. And how instead of telling me his thoughts, of having a conversation with me, he’d shut down on me.
It had always made me feel more certain, hearing him talk about us like we were inevitable. Like we were permanent.
But now wewerepermanent. We’d made the vows, gone through with the mating ceremony.
And… what if he didn’t want me anymore?
What if everything had changed?
Why wouldn’t it?
If he was no longer king, he was free to do any number of things. To leave the elemental fae lands, if he wanted.
I didn’t know if that was something he was interested in. I didn’t even know what he wanted his future to hold. He’d wanted a mate to spice things up, but it was much different to want a mate than it was to actually have one.
Thankfully, when we reached the castle, Dove and Harper came striding out of it, hand-in-hand. Dove’s usually-bright smile was much dimmer than it had been the last time I saw her, and her gaze was fixed on something over my shoulder.
My chest squeezed.
