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“She hasn’t asked me.”
“She didn’t ask me either, but she wants me there,” Xander said. He thought he could read people so well. “I’ll take a shower and go to her.”
“Let me tell you about today,” I warned him. I filled him in on what we’d seen today. “Our girl’s pretty fragile right now.”
“Our girl,” Xander repeated, and I couldn’t quite read his tone. “You know that girl is fragile like a bomb, though.”
“You’d be the expert.”
I left Xander’s room. But I couldn’t stop thinking about Selena and worrying about her, so finally, I knocked on her door.
She opened the door looking tired. “I don’t need a distraction,” she told me quietly. “I need to focus, even if it's painful.”
“I understand that. But you also need some sleep.” I tilted my head to one side. “Do you sleep better with Xander because you trust him?”In a way you don’t trust me?
“I don’t know,” she admitted, and her voice sounded raw. “I can’t think about it tonight.”
“Then don’t think about me either,” I said quietly.
Her gaze met mine, her eyes widening. Then she stepped back from the door, allowing me in.
I got into bed with Selena. Even though we'd had so many hot, tense moments lately, I knew all she needed tonight was comfort.
I wrapped my arms around her, holding her close. She curled into my embrace, her body trembling slightly. The tension in her muscles slowly started to ease.
"You're safe," I whispered into her ear. "I won't let anything happen to you."
She let out a shaky breath of laughter, her fingers gripping the fabric of my shirt tightly. "I won’t let anything happen tomyself," she murmured. "It's just...sometimes I feel like I'm drowning in all of this."
I kissed the top of her head, running my hand through her hair soothingly. "You don't have to do it alone," I said softly. "We're all here for you."
She pulled back slightly, looking up at me with those beautiful, dark eyes. "I don't want to burden you with my problems," she said, her voice barely above a whisper.
But I suspected it wasn’t her problems that were an issue. She might allow me by her side to kill some people who needed killing. It was her emotions she didn’t want to share.
"You could never be a burden to me," I said firmly. "I want to be here for you, Selena."
"You don't understand," she said. "I don't want to owe you.”
A stubborn look crossed her face. “It’s bad enough you gave me more orgasms than I gave you."
I quirked an eyebrow. Even in the dark, I could tell she was wincing as if she hadn't meant to confess that thought.
"You're afraid to owe me because you don't want to be tied to me in any way," I filled in.
She sighed. "Yes. But you're going to try to make me stay, aren't you?"
“Yes.” Nuzzling her cheek with my nose, I whispered, "I want to help you. I want to be with you."
I kissed her again, gently. She let go of my shirt, her arms sliding around my neck. she kissed me back, her lips warm and soft and tender. "I don't know how to keep doing this."
"Let me take care of you," I murmured. "You don't have to be alone anymore.”
She pulled back from the kiss, looking at me with those dark eyes that often seemed to see far too much, as if she could look right through me.
"You are in an occupation with a high mortality rate," she whispered. "And so am I. We should probably just enjoy the fun while it lasts because nothing is guaranteed for us."
"I want more than fun with you," I said, feeling as if nothing I said broke through her walls. She was so stubborn. "I want to be here for the hard parts too. The sad parts."
