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The wild waves would wash every bit of evidence away from those rocks. It would be as if he had never existed.
But I knew nothing would ever wash away the bitter pain that choked me.
CHAPTER26
Xander
I wantedto be pissed off that the guys had started a relationship with Selena and left me out. But she looked so sad and lost on the way home that I couldn’t be angry. As soon as we got home, I told her, “You need to come make something with me.”
“I want to tear something apart,” she said flatly.
“Then let’s start there.”
I brought her into my art studio, I loved seeing her there, my favorite girl in my favorite place.
"I think you might like to explore auto-destructive art," I said. "It began after World War 2 as a way to come to terms with the pain and suffering."
"Tell me more," she said.
I took a deep breath, flipping open one of my art books to show her some examples. "It's basically the idea of creating art by destroying it. Like, using fire, explosives, or even just physically damaging it. It's a way of purging negative emotions through destruction."
Selena looked at me, her eyes curious. "That sounds... cathartic."
"It can be," I said. "I took something from Foss's room."
I brought out the guns that he had hidden in his room. I told her I'd already checked to make sure there were no rounds inside, but she still lifted each and checked herself. I hid my smile. She was a true professional.
"We're going to destroy them and make them into something new," I told her.
"What will we make?"
"You'll know when it's time."
I handed her a sledgehammer. "Here, take out your anger on this," I said, gesturing to the guns.
She looked at me skeptically. "How is this supposed to help? I just want to kill everyone involved."
"It's a way to release your emotions," I explained. "You can destroy this metal and turn it into something beautiful."
Selena raised the sledgehammer and brought it down with a loud clang. She hit it again and again, until it bent and twisted under her fury.
"I never thought I'd enjoy destroying something so much," she admitted, trying to catch her breath.
"That's the beauty of it. Destruction can lead to creation."
I grabbed a welding torch and guided her as she began piecing together the mangled metal, creating a sculpture that represented Selena's pain and anger, but also her strength and resilience. After a while, she relaxed into the experience of welding, and I was glad she loved it as much as I did; there was something magical about the process of using fire to fuse two things together.
As we worked, sweat dripped down our faces and the scent of melting metal filled the air.
It gave me time to think.
I knew I had to fight for her. I couldn't let her walk away from me when this time was over. There was a spark between us, something that had been building since the day we met.
Just like we were creating something beautiful here from something awful and ugly, we could make something good from this fucked-up situation.
Arousal rushed through me as I watched her work, her muscles flexing under her tank top. I knew it was wrong, that I shouldn’t fantasize about someone whose old wounds had just been torn open so brutally. But my body didn’t care about right or wrong.
It just wanted her.
