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Although he was sick to death of everyone asking him that, Rhys had made some steps in repairing his relationship with Andi, and he didn’t want to thrust them backwards by being standoffish.
“I’m good, Andi. I told ya the other day if I needed help, I’d ask you. I promise I will.”
His sister smiled and bopped his shoulder. “Good. And just a bit of business. I’ve had a few work things come in and some of them could be good for you. When you feel up to getting back to work, let me know.”
Rhys glanced up, his eyes clashing with Declan’s before he glanced over at Andi. “I’m not sure I’m even part of the band anymore, Andi.”
“Of course you are.” Andi tried to reassure him as she lifted her gaze to glare at Declan. “You two are as bull headed as each other. Of you could just have a normal conversation without getting each other’s backs up, then maybe ye could resolve some of the issues ye have. And I know I said I wouldn’t intervene and I won’t, but ugh!!! You two drive me nuts.”
Rhys let loose a snort. “Let it go, Andi. You can’t fix everything no matter how much of a PR mogul you are. Some things are just broken upon repair and can’t be fixed.”
Jameson finished his song and they all clapped as he held up his guitar in thanks and Luna bunded up to the stage, a drunken grin on her face. “Okay, motherfuckers...whose next?”
There was no volunteers, as everyone was content to just chat and enjoy the evening and everyone kinda seemed to ignore Luna, who then whistled and arched her brows high in the air, hands on her hips and Rhys knew Luna would find a victim next, even if she had to drag Noah or Quinn up to sing.
“Rhys will go next.”
Rhys snapped his head in Shay’s direction so hard it hurt him, his eyes flared as she shifted in her seat as Luna laughed and rolled her eyes. “I’m sure we can find someone to come and perform with Rhys since we all know he sings as well as I do.”
“I think he might surprise you.” Shay said and Rhys wanted to shake her and scream at her to keep her mouth fucking shut because he wasn’t going to make an ass of himself in front of everyone. His body felt it was coiled like a spring, ready to react.
“Rhys.”
He dragged his gaze back to look at his sister and when he did, Rhys just knew that Andi knew his secret. He wasn’t sure how Andi knew, but she did.
“Maybe it’s time for you to be centre stage,”
His heart was racing in his chest and he felt strangely dizzy. Everyone had turned to look at him and he felt like he was under a microscope. Damn Shay and he big mouth. There was no way in hell he was ready to get up there by himself.
Rhys wasn’t sure what made him look at Declan, but he did, and when his eyes fell on his best friend, there was a slight curve in his lips that infuriated Rhys, the anger he had been trying to keep under control overflowing to the surface and he just said fuck it.
Perhaps it wasn’t the greatest idea to do it because he was seething with anger, pissed off at Shay and definitely pissed off at Declan. Luna must have seen the look on his face because she quickly moved the microphone to the piano and got the hell off the stage.
Rhys shucked off his leather jacket, handed it to Andi, then inhaled a breath before he stalked to the stage and kept his eyes firmly on the piano and the blank wall in front of him. He needed to calm himself down, because the sway of his emotions had his fingers trembling as he sat down in front of the piano.
Swallowing hard, Rhys started to play the first few bars of Green Day’sBoulevard of Broken Dreams, just to get a feel for the piano, considering he hadn’t played it in such a long time. To steady his nerves, Rhys played the entire song in full, trying to figure out what song he wanted, no the song heneededto sing.
Lifting his eyes, Rhys looked out at the expectant crowd gathered, his nerves making butterflies swarm in his stomach. His sister smiled at him encouragingly, at the same time as Declan leaned forward in his seat, leaned his elbows on his knees as if to say to Rhys, come on, show me what you got.
Rhys turned away and closed his eyes, inhaling and exhaling before he forced himself to be calm, telling himself it was just the same as him singing for the patients at the retreat, but deep down he knew that this was so much more than any other performance.
And so Rhys composed himself, fingers hovering over the keys as he prepared to cut himself open and bleed out, and the fear that he wasn’t going to be good enough just wasn’t as strong as the anger bubbling under his skin.
ChapterNineteen
Rhys
The moment Rhysdecided to try and wipe the smirk off Declan’s face, this eery calmness washed over him and he played the first twenty seconds of intro like he did this every night to millions of people. But that wasn’t the truth and the very people he had been hiding from would know all his secrets by the time the song was over.
The song, NF’sTrauma, was a song Rhys had connected with when he first heard the piano, and the lyrics, and the lyrics themselves were exactly what he wished he could say to Declan. His voice and NF’s were sort of similar, not as rock as Declan’s or Jameson’s but it was a song he could pull off even if the thought of performing in front of his friends and family was nerve-wracking.
Rhys tried to ignore the shocked gasps when he finished the first chorus and played the piano. Then the entire room fell silent as he sang again, his fingers gliding over the keys like they were an extension of his hand. This was where Rhys found his freedom, where he found his courage and he had never, ever felt as brave or as stupid as he did in that moment.
The song was over too quickly, and he extended the end of the song for a few more bars before he lifted his fingers off the keys. He wasn’t ready yet to open his eyes and break the spell, crashing him back to reality and to have all of his friends look at him, especially if they hated what they had just heard.
Before he could stop himself, Rhys heard himself call Luna as he started to play the melody for Harry Styles, Sign of the Timeshoping Luna would get behind her drums to help him as he sang, getting through the first part of the song before he heard Luna on her drums. Rhys sang harder and louder than he had in his life, knowing he needed to belt the lyrics to do the song justice.
He knew he didn’t sound too bad, a smile curving his lips as prepared for the higher notes, knowing this was all he had to do to prove himself, to prove he could sing and prove he still had a place in the band, no matter what Declan said or did after tonight. It annoyed him that even after everything, even after all the therapy and all the work he put in, that Declan’s opinion still mattered to him. He felt like a teenager again and Declan was the hero who saved him from the bullies.
