AllFreeNovel
Share Us
ChapterTwo
Rhys
Rhys busiedhimself tidying up his little haven, even though he expected his mother had been over and fussed about the place. His stash of booze had been emptied out, and no evidence of his excessive drinking remained. Rhys himself knew it was a bit much but the thoughts in his head were sometimes so fucking loud that he had to drown them out, sometimes by necking a bottle of vodka.
When he’d been asked in his therapy sessions about why he drank so much or why he decided to try drugs, Rhys hadn’t had a very good answer. It felt stupid, telling this complete stranger that sometimes his thoughts overwhelmed him and he wanted to shut them off. That he wasn’t sure if he was jealous that his sister and his best friend were now a thing, or if he was just angry that it felt like he had to share.
And that made him feel like a prize prick.
Ever since Declan and Andi had fallen out, Rhys had been able to spend time with Andi and vent about the band, or spend time with Dec and vent about his family. Now, it just felt like wherever he went, they were there, together. Somehow his stupid brain hadn’t figured out that by tricking Andi into becoming their manager, it meant his sister was always gonna be part of the band’s business. Now, with the two of them dating, Rhys felt confused.
Rhys huffed out a breath and went to take a shower, hoping to pass away the time in some useful way instead of mulling over all the shit decisions he’d been making lately. After his shower, Rhys pulled on a grey pair of sweatpants and headed to the fridge to see if there was any food, smiling when he saw it was packed.
Making himself a sandwich, it made him consider that his diet before the retreat had been mainly a mixture of junk food and alcohol. He knew he’d lost weight, but after three meals day for thirty days and daily gym workouts, he’d started to feel more like himself than he had in a long time.
After brewing a cup of tea, Rhys went into the small living room and plonked down in front of the TV, turning on some random cooking competition for background noise. He glanced around for his phone, then realized that Andi probably still had it, after Declan confiscated it in the hospital.
Anger bubbled inside of him and Rhys closed his eyes to calm himself. He knew that his phone was full of one-night stands and party people who Rhys was better off without and he himself had planned a cleanse of his contacts once he had gotten home, but this was ridiculous.
A memory struck him then, of the night before he’d gone off to the retreat.
“Where are you going, Rhys?”
“Fuck off, Declan. You’re not my father.” Rhys tossed back at him, grabbing his phone and keys, ready to head out his parent’s front door. There was a party going on in the city and if he was to be sent off on this useless retreat, then he was going to bid his freedom goodbye in style.
Declan blocked his path, holding out his hand. “Gimmie your phone. The same idiots inviting you to a party are the same idiots that left you bleeding when you went through that window. You’re not stupid, Rhys. They aren’t your friends.”
Rhys felt his lips curve into a sneer. “You wanna be my friend now, Dec? That’s rich. And here I thought you’d dropped me because you got what you wanted. I mean, no need to be friends with me now you’re fucking my sister.”
Rhys heard his mother suck in a breath as Declan grabbed him by the collar, his face flushed red with anger. Rhys wanted Declan to hit him, wanted to feel the pain, and yet, Declan just held him as his mother took the phone from Rhys hands, and then Declan shoved him back, shaking his head.
“You keep pushing my buttons, Rhys, and so help me god, I will lay you out. You don’t get to speak about Andi like that. She’s still your sister, no matter how you feel about me right now.”
Rhys brushed the wrinkles off his t-shirt. “Awh look at ya, Dec, playing the hero...does it make ya feel fucking special, having a band full of misfits you can say you saved?”
Declan shook his head, a frown creasing his brows. “I dunno who you are right now, Rhys.”
A snort escaped Rhys and he smirked. “Maybe this is who I’ve always been, Dec. The fuckboy of the band, arrogant and selfish. Now get out of my way.”
The air that was already charged seemed to crackle with tension as Rhys went to step around Declan, but his mam blocked the way a stern look on her face that was unusual for the women who gave her kids the space to make their own decisions and their own mistakes.
Mabel Collins spoke, her tone firm. “I’ve made dinner and you are gonna sit down and eat because you look like you’re fading away. I don’t know what’s happening to you, luv, but it’s killing me.”
The pain in her voice almost broke Rhys, tears threatening to spill from his eyes. Part of him wanted to rebel, to walk past his mam and into the night. Instead he sat down at the table for dinner.
His mam watched every mouthful he swallowed, raising her brows when he pushed the food around his plate so Rhys ate every bite even though it make him feel queasy.
Rhys had known he had been baiting Declan, trying to incite him to violence and he had caused the rift between his best friend and himself. Hell, he knew he was still pushing Andi away.
“The road to forgiveness is not an easy road, Rhys. But you have to learn to forgive yourself first. Then and only then can you seek forgiveness from those you have hurt.”
Rhys knew the advice was good, yet, he didn’t think he was ready to forgive himself for being a dickhead. He needed to figure out who he was and who he wanted to be. He needed to see why being Rhys Collins scared him and see if he could survive the ninety days challenge set out by his therapist to find his way back to being someone he wasn’t ashamed of.
“Ninety days,” She’d said with a smile. “Ninety days of no drinking, no partying, no sex. None of the crutches you use to hide away from being you. Use the time to keep a clear head and make amends. That’s my challenge to you, Rhys.”
Jesus Christ, he wanted a drink so badly.
Not that he was an alcoholic. He’d managed the thirty days without so much as a drop but then again, he’d been so busy, routine and structure and music, that it hadn’t bothered him. However, right now, stuck here in the silence, Rhys felt his knee start to bounce restlessly, his thoughts starting to weigh heavy on him.
