Page 146 of Be My First


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She shrugs. I hurry over and slip snowshoes over my boots.

After she wraps her scarf around her neck, we head out toward the trail.

“So you’re going to let Zadie set you up?” she says without looking at me.

“Seems like I don’t have a choice,” I answer.

She snorts. “She is persistent. She tried to set me up last year. That probably would have been better than Seth.”

“I’m sure. How’s Felix? Is he home in Germany for the holiday?” I ask.

She steps over a big log. “Austria.”

“Austria, right,” I follow her over the log.

“I guess he’s home. I haven’t spoken to him over break,” she answers, ducking under a snow-covered tree branch.

I dodge the same branch and then say, “Why not?”

“We weren’t a thing,” she answers.

“Why not?” I ask.

She stops walking and says, “You sure ask a lot of questions.”

“Well, I’m curious.”

“I see that.” She sighs and starts walking again. “He was a nice guy. Very sweet. I think he was genuinely a good guy, but if I’m being honest, I’m a bit spooked.”

“Spooked?”

She puts her hands on her head, not looking at me – facing the other direction. We’ve halted again. “Who can I trust? Everyone knows who I am. They know I’m rich. They know my family is powerful. Maybe they just want to become famous? Maybe they want to secretly film me? Or write a tell-all book. I don’t know, but it’s gotten in my head.”

I put my hands on her shoulders and turn her around. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t do that,” she says, brushing my hands away and stepping back.

“Do what?”

“Pretend you care,” she says.

“Pretend? Of course I care.”

Her eyes are burning with anger now. “But for only one week out of the year?”

“That’s not fair.”

“Why did you come see me in the Fall?” she asks.

“Just to catch up – like friends do,” I respond.

She looks at me skeptically. “But we aren’t friends.”

This actually hurts. “Aren’t we?”

Her eyebrow twitches. “It’s a weird friendship. Come on. Let’s head back.”

She changes direction, and I watch her without moving.

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