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He stops and stares at Lily. At my breast.
I’m not weird about public breastfeeding. It’s feeding a baby, you know. Get over it. I’m not trying to be the center of attention, but if you feel uncomfortable, you can look somewhere else. Cash is not looking somewhere else, and I don’t blame him. Five minutes ago, he was just a man. Now, he’s a father. He’s trying to wrap his head around it.
He leans his head back to the ceiling and takes two slow breaths.
Here it comes.I brace myself.
“Averie, when the fuck were you going to tell me?” he says, through clenched teeth. I can tell he’s trying to remain calm; emotionless. He’s not really succeeding.
“I wasn’t going to tell you.” Our eyes lock. He’s daring me to look away, but I’m not flinching.
“The fuck you weren’t,” he fires back. He’s pacing again.
“How do you even know she’s yours?” I respond. As soon as I say it, I regret it.
“What the hell, Averie? Look at her,” he says, his voice rising. The vein in his neck is popping out.
I don’t respond. I’m not sure what I want to say. Of course, I’ve thought about this moment a million times, but there was a part of me that thought I could keep this secret forever. I feel unprepared. He’s cursing all kinds of creative words under his breath. I’m learning a few new phrases. I almost want to write it down.
Lily pulls away and smiles at me. A big, nearly toothless smile that lights up her whole face. I smile back and then move her to my other breast.
“She would never have forgiven you,” he says, bitterly.
I jerk my head up.
“If you hadn’t told her,” he continues. He is glaring at me. “She would never have forgiven you if you’d kept her from me forever.”
“Maybe.” He’s probably right. I had my reasons though. He knows all of them.
Neither of us speaks. I know he’s reeling. So am I. This changes everything - for both of us.
Juliette walks back into the room just as Lily is finished eating.
“Chloe just texted. She has the flu. She can’t come,” she says, staring at her phone.
“Oh, no. Is Graham still coming?”
“Yeah, he’s almost here.”
I nod. That’s good. I hate that Chloe won’t be with us though.
Cash is still glowering at me. Juliette shifts uncomfortably.
“Will you change Lily before we leave?” I ask. “Cash and I need to finish talking before we head out.”
She takes Lily and leaves the room. Cash watches them all the way down the hall.
“We’ll talk about it when I get back.” I’m gathering Lily’s gear and placing it by the door.
“The hell we will,” Cash growls.
“Cash, be reasonable,” I say. “This trip has been planned for a long time.”
“You be reasonable.” He’s pointing a finger wildly in my direction. “You lied to me.”
I didn’t lie,” I interrupt.
He rolls his eyes.
