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“The big one,” I said, motioning behind me.
“Iamthe big one,” he teased, ripping a laugh from my lips.
“That one,” I said, pointing toward the coaster.
“Looks promising.”
We weaved our way through the crowd of people, making our way to the winding line for the biggest coaster the park offered. The one I’d always avoided on the rare times Maria was able to take me here as a special treat, usually for my birthday. The ride went up over forty-five stories high and broke speeds of one-hundred-and-thirty miles per hour. It was enough to warrant its own liability waiver and was exactly what I was looking for to kick off the end-of-my-life tour.
“You want to wait in line for a sixty-second ride?” Ajax asked as I moved to the line for the front of the coaster, signs displaying our wait time and the ride duration time.
“They say the front car is the scariest,” I answered, turning to face him as we waited.
He arched a brow at me, and I noticed he had a scar running through his left eyebrow. I had half a mind to ask him how he got it, but held back, since I didn’t want to tiptoe into the too-personal lane. Though, to be fair, he’d asked to hang out with me, even if he was a delicious manifestation.
“How scary can it be if it’s only sixty seconds?”
I glanced behind me where lights illuminated the insanely tall roller coaster. The tip of it looked like it touched the sky. I turned back to him. “You seem to be hung up on thetimefactor and not the thrill factor.”
He glanced up at the coaster, then back down to me and shrugged. “Doesn’t look very thrilling.”
I gaped up at him. “If the idea of dropping straight down from forty-five stories up doesn’t thrill you, then what does?”
A muscle in his jaw ticked, the mood shifting from playful barbing to something a little deeper. Which was exactly where I didn’t want to go. Because if he shared, then I’d have to share, and that was not what tonight was about. Tonight was aboutliving.
I smiled up at him, reaching for that playfulness once more. “Guess you’re used to being up that high, huh?”
He furrowed his brow at me.
“Angel of death and all,” I teased. “Will you show me your wings later?”
Ajax moved closer to me as the line shifted forward. “Only if you say please,” he said, a smirk on his face and his voice lowered between us.
Lava shot through my veins, and I got lost in his eyes. The swirls of rich brown and almost black captivated me in a way nothing else had before. I had the most ridiculous urge to span the distance between us, to feel just how hard his muscles were, to brush my lips over—
“Next!”
I blinked out of my fantasy as the attendant hollered for us, and spun around, following the path to the very front cart of the coaster.
I slid into my seat easily, pulling the harness tight over my shoulders as I clicked in. Ajax had a little harder time getting strapped in. He was massive—which, yeah, I’d already noticed—but watching him try to bring the harness down over his muscles was almost comical. His massive thigh pressed against mine in the small cart, his warmth and scent radiating into me like the sweetest shield.
My heart kicked up a few beats, and I couldn’t tell if it was excitement over the ride or excitement over Ajax, but either way, I was here for it. This was what I’d been missing all my life. Somewhere between foster care and college, I’d forgotten how to live in the moment, to enjoy the little bursts of energy that made me feel awake for the first time in years.
Fuck, I hope we don’t die.
There are fail-safes for these rides, right?
I think I’m having a heart attack.
Voices tumbled into my mind, the anxiousness enough to make me clench my eyes shut. A wave of apprehension settled over me as the voices mounted, and a pain throbbed behind my eyes. I rubbed my temple, then splayed my hand over my chest and collarbone as I tried to calm my breathing.
“Grace,” Ajax said as he slid his hand over mine, his fingers grazing the skin of my collarbone, sending chills across my skin. “Grace, open your eyes.” I did, turning my head slightly to look at him. Two little lines formed between his brow. “What’s wrong?”
“The voices…” I stopped myself, taking deep breaths through my nose, and did my best to focus on no one but him. Slowly, my heartbeats buried the voices until all I could see or hear was Ajax, all I could feel was his hand on mine—
The ride jolted, shooting forward like a bullet out of a gun.
I gripped Ajax’s hand as we catapulted forward, climbing straight up in the air for what seemed like ages.
