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“I didn’t think he’d behave the same way after ten years…”
“It’s fine,” he said. “Seriously. It was a mistake coming here again.”
My stomach dropped at his words, and tears welled up in my eyes. “Well, I’m used to that,” I finally said, forcing my chin to stay up.
“What?”
“Being a mistake. It’s like my unwanted mission statement.”
“You are the furthest thing from a mistake,” he said, his voice low and rough as he stepped toward me.
“Then what—”
“Me coming here and thinking anything would be different is the mistake. Having any sort of hope that your father would be enlightened was a mistake.” He blew out a breath, and I could feel the tension radiating off of him, he stood so close. “Why didn’t you tell me about the sobriety?”
“You didn’t ask,” I said.
“How would I know to ask, Anne?” He gave me a chiding look. “We hadn’t spoken for ten years before you came back into my life.”
“I know, I’m sorry. I should’ve told you but…” Why hadn’t I brought it up when we first had dinner? When he’d kissed me? The reasoning, as sad as it was, settled in my chest. “I didn’t want you to know.”
“Why?”
“Because I didn’t want you to see my failures any more than you had in the gossip columns that loved to paint my story all over the papers.”
“Addiction doesn’t make you a failure,” he said. “It just means you need help. You know I’d never judge you. I never have—”
“I know,” I said. “Iknow. I’m just trying to reorient my life and I’m trying to do better and I didn’t know how to open that conversation.” I flung my arms out. “Hey, Jim. I’m four weeks sober because the doctors told me if I kept up my habits, I would be dead within the year. Also, I’ve been an awful person to my sister more times than I can count due to an incident that wasn’t even her fault, I’ve been a coward as much as I’ve been numb to reality, and I’ve had a string of failed marriages to men who hated me more than they liked me. Great to see you again.”
He gaped at me, his eyes churning as he processed the info dump I’d laid on him.
“Your liver?” he finally asked, and I nodded. He took a step back, raking his fingers through his hair.
“You see why I didn’t want to tell you?” I asked, folding my arms over my chest like I could protect myself. “I don’t really care what anyone else thinks of me, but you? Your opinion means more to me than anyone else’s. And for once, I didn’t want to be the mistake or the embarrassment. I just wanted to be…me.”
“Why?” he asked. “Why does my opinion matter to you?”
“You know why,” I said, my words almost a whisper.
“And Brad,” he said, throwing my mind for a loop. “Why was he there?”
“My father invited him, I assume. He’s been trying to set us up.”
A muscle in his jaw flexed.
“But we’re just friends. We decided that the moment we first met.”
“You have no interest in him?”
“No,” I said. “My father wants that life for me—”
“High school all over again—”
“And he’s a great guy,” I forged on. “But he’s not who I want. He’s notyou,” I admitted on a breath.
Jim’s eyes snapped to mine, a charged sense of urgency lashing between us. He took one step toward me, then another, like he simply couldn’t stand the distance between us. Slowly, he slid his hand over my neck, gliding his fingers through my hair.
“This can never work,” he said, gently tugging my hair to tip my head back.
