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“When I couldn’t even test to see if I could be a donor to save my mother,” she said, squeezing my hand tighter. “That was the moment I realized I wasn’t useful to anyone in any capacity.”
A protest was on the tip of my tongue, but I kept my lips pressed together, not wanting to interrupt her.
“And it was an awakening,” she continued. “Death was scary, sure. But the idea of leaving this world and it being a relief to everyone around me?” she shook her head. “That was an awful truth I had to face. Because yes, my family would grieve, but they would also probably be relieved they no longer had to try and fix me.”
I parted my lips, anger flushing through me.
“But,” she hurried on, noting my expression. “That was the moment I decided to see exactly what was broken inside me that needed fixing. That’s when I finally acknowledged that the life I was living wasn’t worth it, and that I needed to make a massive change if I wanted to make use of what life I have left.” She smiled at me. “It’s not easy, but this time, with Dr. Casson’s help…I’m learning how to cope. I’m learning more about myself than I ever have before.”
“Good,” I said, nodding. “That’s really good, Anne. Because you absolutely are necessary in this world.”
She huffed a laugh, the tone very much like she didn’t believe me.
“You are,” I pushed. “You may not believe it now, but someday you’ll see how damn important you are in people’s lives and that not every decision you make has to be to please your family.”
Fuck, that last part I should’ve left out but I couldn’t help it. Her father’s unrealistic expectations of her had a huge hand in the way her life had gone, and I hoped one day he would take ownership of that.
“Thank you for listening,” she said. “For coming when I texted. For understanding.” She wrapped her arms around me, and I held her to me, just basking in the feel of her as she took all the time she needed to breathe. “I know I have no right to ask,” she said after a few moments. “But could you stay tonight?”
“Yeah,” I said, my voice cracking a bit. “I can do that.”
Her tense muscles melted at my answer, and we headed to her bedroom. The mattress was small and on the floor, but it didn’t matter. I held her through the night, doing my best to give her whatever energy I had, whatever she needed to help get through the aftereffects of revealing the truths she had tonight.
I didn’t kiss her, even though I thought about it over a dozen times. She needed to be protected tonight, comforted and understood, not seduced.
She needed to be loved.
And even though a decade had passed, I loved her as much now as I did back then. Maybe even more. But I had no clue if it would be enough.
* * *
Early morning light filtered through the slats of Anne’s bedroom window, falling over her sleeping face in strips of gold.
Fuck, she was gorgeous. Her long hair splayed over the pillow, her face relaxed after the intense and hard night she’d had last night. I didn’t want to leave. I wanted to stay in that bed with her all damn day.
But I couldn’t.
There was something I had to do before we both needed to go to work.
I gave her one last look, my heart filling too big for my chest, and headed to her kitchen. I’d ordered her favorite coffee and breakfast, and left it on the counter with a note explaining where I went. Her alarm would go off in ten minutes, and I didn’t want her to feel alone.
Making my way to the station, I bypassed my coworkers and headed straight to the drunk tank. He was right where I’d left him last night, but the sight of him today? After knowing what I knew?
I wanted to fucking kill him.
I cracked my neck, my hands curling into fists as I headed into the tank. And just my luck, this asshole was alone.
“Finally gonna let me out?” Kent groaned as I stood over where he lay curled in a ball on the small bench in the room.
“After we have a little chat,” I said, reaching down and grabbing him by his shirt, hauling him off the bench and across the room.
“Whoa, man, what the hell?”
I slammed him into the wall a little too hard, and I did my best to get a lock on my anger, but I didn’t let him go.
“What the fuck did I do?” he snapped, trying like hell to shake off my hold.
He couldn’t.
