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I wanted to, but I managed to avoid that.
Anne had shown up to work looking amazing, no signs of the events of last night affecting her at all. The woman knew how to don a society-approved mask, and I wondered if that had helped her pain and struggles stay hidden all these years. If no one could see past the perfectly unaffected exterior she’d been raised to show the world, then no one could help her.
But I could see it. I could see it in the weight in her eyes when she thought no one was looking. I could feel it when she would walk by me, her hand grazing mine or my shoulder, like she needed assurance I was still here, still with her.
I was, despite all the reasons we shouldn’t.
And with every innocent touch, every genuine smile or surprised laugh I managed to earn from her, I was a goner. My defenses unraveling until there was nothing left but unrestrained need.
“If it’s all right with you,” I said after all the new hires had left and we were done working for the day. “I’d like to follow you home, make sure everything looks good.”
I knew Kent was properly scared of me and wouldn’t be stupid enough to track her down and seek retribution for my actions, but I wasn’t going to take any chances.
Anne’s eyebrows rose, but she nodded. “I’d appreciate that.”
I nodded, following her out of the station and onto the road. The entire drive my body was a tangle of nerves, twisting and tightening the closer we got to her apartment. Not because of any fear of the douchebag, but because I didn’t know how to move forward with her.
I wanted her, needed her, but like she’d said before, she was working on herself. The last thing I wanted to do was complicate it with whatever was happening between us, but I honestly didn’t know if I could stay away from her anymore.
“All good?” she asked after I’d checked the small bank of apartments she lived in, making sure there was no sign of Kent or his car.
“All good,” I said, lingering just outside her door.
She worried her bottom lip between her teeth, but didn’t say any more, so I smiled at her and turned to leave.
“Jim,” she said, stopping me.
“Yeah?” I asked, turning around to face her again.
Her eyes dropped to the ground. “Stay with me?”
Those three words punched my chest, accelerating my heart with all kinds of hope.
But reality was enough to keep it in check.
“How long?” I asked, unable to not voice the question.
She tilted her head, and I stepped closer to her, scanning the lines of her face. God, I couldn’t look at her without feeling a sharp pang of undiluted need. This was the girl of my dreams, the once love of my life, the woman who inspired me, who made me laugh, who understood me in a way that no one else did.
“How long can we keep doing this?” I clarified.
Understanding churned in her eyes. “Could we just take it one day at a time?” she asked. “That’s kind of how I’m having to live my life right now. And I’m not certain of many things, like if I’ll ever be fully healed or if I’ll ever make up for my past sins, but there is one thing I know without any doubt…”
“What is it?” I asked, the tension between us tightening like a stretched string.
“You,” she said. “I want you,” she whispered. “In my life. In whatever way you want to be in it. Friends, more than friends, anything. I’ll take anything you want to give me, just please tell me you’ll stay.”
Her words broke me.
One second, I was a safe distance away, protecting both our hearts from the inevitable shatter that would happen when this all came crashing down.
The next, she was in my arms, my mouth over hers as I lifted her off her feet and carried her into her apartment, kicking the door shut behind me. I spun her, pressing her back against the closed door, taking her mouth in sweeping kisses.
“One day at a time,” I echoed her sentiment against her lips.
“That’s all we need,” she said, her fingers frantic at the hem of my shirt.
I hauled it off with one hand, making quick work of hers next, then her pants and mine, leaving us in nothing but our underwear.
