Page 43 of Promised at Birth


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“Wonderful. I loved her. She died of breast cancer when I was ten years old. I was devastated. My father mourned her for months. I never thought my father loved her because he always had mistresses. Apparently, he did. They always argued about his infidelities. She was always sad. I always swore that if I got married, I would never cheat because of my mother.”

“Did you cheat on your girlfriends?”

Here we go.

“When I was younger, I only wanted sex and lots of it. I was never serious about any one chick. I was not monogamous. I only dated women I wanted to fuck. I stayed away from nice girls like you.”

“What makes me a nice girl?”

“Well, you are a virgin - young, pure, sweet, inexperienced. You want to fall in love. I do not. I always stayed clear of women like you because I didn’t want to hurt them. I was not monogamous. Monogamy isn’t natural for me. I bore easily. I like the chase too much.”

“Will you hurt me, Bobby?”

“Gwen, my father raised me to be tough not weak. Falling in love is a weakness. I do not want to be weak. I do not fall in love. I do not have those kinds of feelings. If you don’t expect me to fall in love with you, you won’t get hurt.”

Gwen is silent. I have hurt her feelings. I cannot love her. I am not built that way. I cannot be the husband she needs. I feel bad for her. She is too young for this kind of life. She should be going to college, dating guys, falling in love. She will never have the fairytale marriage that most women want. She will be stuck in a loveless marriage with a dangerous man, like my mother had been. Now I understand why my father showered my mother with gifts, because he couldn’t give his love to her. Fairytales do not exist in the Mafia. Gwen deserves a happily ever after. She won’t get one married to me.

“Are you going to keep seeing your models and actresses? Nick told me that mafia wives can’t cheat, but it is okay if husbands cheat, provided they are discreet.”

“I am not going to discuss this with you. Drop it.”

I gently brush her hair back.

Am I going to cheat on my wife?Probably. I enjoy fucking too much. Fucking only one woman will never satisfy me. Gwen is sweet and pure. The perfect mafia wife. I have needs that I doubt she can fulfill. I am not a good man. I have a dark side. A beast in bed. I will satisfy my darkness with Vanessa for now. I will not embarrass Gwen.

“Turn around so I can reapply the cream to your back.”

I gently coat Gwen’s back with cream. She takes another pain pull. She lays down on her stomach. I sit with her until she falls asleep.

I join my men in the kitchen. I order dinner. After dinner we sit by the pool and bullshit about old times.

Gwen

1:00 a.m.

I open my eyes. Bobby is gone. I hear laughter coming from the from the pool. Bobby is probably getting drunk with his bodyguards.

My back is starting to sting. I slowly sit up. I swallow a Tylenol with codeine and the birth control pill. I lay back down on my stomach.

I think about what Bobby told me. I am disappointed. Hurt. He will be back in another woman’s arms after our honeymoon. In her bed. He will be a kind husband. Generous. Shower me with gifts. Only touching me occasionally or when he wants to fill my belly with a baby.

But…

Bobby is so gentle and loving when he rubs cream on my back. I feel tingly all over whenever he touches me. His touch is soft. I want him to touch me all over. I loved that he could not take his eyes off my naked breasts. I am growing more and more attracted to him. Futile. He will never love me.Stop thinking about him.I cannot.

Bobby

I spend the next couple of days with Frankie and Gino, swimming, eating, and drinking.

Gwen’s back starts to blister. She stays in bed. The Tylenol with codeine makes her sleepy. I crawl in bed late each night careful not to wake her. I bring her food. Rub cream on her back. Sit with her while she is awake. She is friendly. No eye rolling. No salty comments.

When Gwen is feeling better, I run a bubble bath for her. She walks to the bathroom in only a pair of panties. Forgets to cover her tits with her hands. Fuck! I can’t stop thinking about Gwen’s tits. My cock aches for her. I want to fuck her but will wait until she is ready.

Gwen keeps having nightmares. PTSD from being kidnapped by the Razors. I usually just gently wake her. One night she is shaking so much I put my arms around her. I like the way she feels. Soft and warm.

“You saved me.” She murmurs in my ear.

“You’re mine.” I reassure her.

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