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I just didn’t think it would cost me so much…
Like my own fucking sanity.
Running my fingers along the clothes hanging on my side, I note a distinct lack of baggy, oversized tee shirts.
I have no idea what he did with what I was wearing when he took me. For all I know they could have been turned into cleaning rags.
Sighing to myself, I grab a black tank top and cover myself up with a thin, blue zip-up jacket. Ignoring how even these two very basic pieces feel too luxurious and way out of my price range.
After shoving my feet into a pair of sneakers that need to be broken in, I walk back into the bathroom.
Wiping off the steam, I stare at myself in the mirror.
With the jacket zipped up, you can’t see all the bruises marking my throat. But they’re definitely still there.
Fading from blue and purple to an ugly shade of green.
I know from past experiences that in a few days they’ll turn yellow and be much harder to see.
I used to look forward to the yellow days…
Because the stares would stop when I went out.
I couldn’t afford the makeup I needed to cover the bruises when I had to leave the house to get the things Abel needed.
Kyle could never be counted on to do any errands. Everything, besides making the money, was left on my shoulders.
Now there’s two cabinets full of unopened luxury cosmetics at my disposal.
Oh, how times have changed for me.
I’ve gone from having bruises created by an abusive husband to having bruises created by a man who almost killed me.
A man who is doing his damnedest to impregnant me.
But hey, at least Jude doesn’t hit me out of anger.
I don’t have to worry about him suddenly snapping and deciding to backhand me because I said something smart.
With a start, my eyes widening at my reflection, I come to the sudden, terrifying realization that I’m not afraid of Jude.
Not like I was afraid of Kyle.
Yes, Jude hurt me, but he was justified in the moment…
Besides that one time, he’s not once made me feel like I have to tiptoe around him and be afraid to speak my mind.
Fuck, how many times did I cuss him out when he wouldn’t leave my house and all he did was smile? Like he thought it was funny?
I’ve never felt any fear when he holds Abel. I’ve felt worry, yes. Worry that he’d try to keep him or something. But no fear of him hurting him…
“Jesus,” I blow out in a breath.
Am I fucked in the head or something?
Picking up a brush, I pull it through my hair.
I should be terrified of Jude, given what happened with Kyle.
