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The man I vowed to spend the rest of my life with, the man I hung all my hopes and dreams on, became a stranger. A monster I didn’t recognize.
All my hopes and dreams burst. The future became dark and murky.
Heviolatedme.
Somehow, someway, he managed to violate my spirit.
To hurt a vulnerable part of me that should only be touched with softness.
I should have left then.
But I didn’t.
The lack of money, friends, and family made it impossible to leave. So I convinced myself it was a one-time thing. That I may have even deserved it. That I could be careful and not let it ever get to that point again.
That if I changed and didn’t push him, it wouldn’t happen again.
But it always happens again.
If I succeed at anything in this pathetic life of mine, I succeed at being able to piss him off.
“Fuck!” Kyle shouts in frustration and suddenly shoves me away, causing me to crash into the wall. “Do something about that brat! He’s driving me nuts!”
Ears ringing, head throbbing, I pop my eyes open and stare at him in shock.
What the fuck? He’s never pulled back before. Not when he’s this heated.
Growling with impatience, he grabs me by the back of the head, fingers clamping painfully in my hair, and uses his grip to practically throw me away from him.
Tripping forward, I end up going down to one knee on the carpet.
Dazed and confused, I try to get my bearings.
It’s not until Kyle gives me a hard kick in the ass, sending me down onto my hands, that I finally hear what’s upsetting him.
Abel is wailing and crying.
All the yelling must have woken him from his nap.
The switch inside me flips everything back on and I’m overwhelmed with panic. I claw at the carpet, scrambling forward, trying to get back up when Kyle kicks me again.
Not holding back, his boot connects with my ass and sends me back down to the floor.
“Worthless piece of shit,” he spits out.
Ignoring the strong throbbing coming from my backside, I manage to push myself up and stumble forward. Then I race for Abel’s room.
“I should have listened to my father and never married you,” Kyle says with disgust as he stalks after me. “You’re trash, just like your fucking mother.”
Standing in his crib, bawling his eyes out, Abel wails in distress.
Seeing him like that, so upset, breaks the last of my shell. Tears filling my own eyes, I rush to the crib and pick him up.
“It’s okay, shhhh. Mommy’s here,” I try to coo as I lift Abel into my arms, but my words are cracked with my own emotion.
I hug him close to my chest, squeezing my love into him.
If only my love alone was enough to fix all of this shit, I think to myself.
