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Uncle Mickey.
I haven’t thought of him in years.
Hell, I haven’t spoken to him since I told him I’d never speak to him again at Dad’s funeral.
Abel tugs on my hair and I instinctually make a funny face at him.
His face cracks into a smile and he giggles.
There’s something about his baby giggles that fills my heart with fuzzy warmth.
He’s my world. My everything.
I’d do anything for him.
When it comes to taking care of him, pride is meaningless.
I couldn’t live with myself if I ever lost him.
He sure as hell didn’t ask to be born, nor did he ask to have me as his mother.
His existence is onme. I brought him into this world and I owe it to him to do the best I can.
Going to Uncle Mickey for help would be like selling my soul to the devil.
But what other choice do I have?
2
Eden
South Hebron is exactly like I remember it—dirty, neglected, and decrepit. The air is so thick with hopelessness, it presses down on my shoulders.
My posture slumps under the weight of it.
Clutching Abel a little closer to my chest as we step off the bus, I’m grateful he fell asleep during the ride. It might be silly but I don’t want him to see any of this.
I don’t want him to see where his mommy used to live.
I know that he probably won’t remember any of this, but I’ve always wanted to protect him and shield him from my past.
I never thought I’d be back here and I sure as fuck thought I’d left it all behind me, but walking down the block I find myself falling into old habits.
As if they’ll always be second nature.
Keep your chin down and don’t make eye contact with anyone. If someone approaches, keep walking.
And if they’re persistent, demanding attention, get loud and annoying.
Most of the older homeless guys begging for some change so they can buy their next drink are easily intimidated. You just flap your wings a bit and they’ll go running.
It’s the younger guys looking to score enough so they can party that are the problem. When they approach, they’re usually overly friendly and have a sob story meant to tug at your heartstrings.
But the moment they sense any resistance from you, they get aggressive.
Thankfully, I don’t run into anyone that poses a threat. Just a couple of tweakers that don’t know what dimension they’re living in.
But it is rather early in the day. Most people around here are probably still sleeping. Waiting for the light of day to fade away so everything doesn’t look so stark and bleak.
