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“But, Gloria, what if I get attached to little Gino and he gets taken away? I’m not sure I could handle it.”
Gloria looks at Kiki, who in turn rolls her eyes. “His imaginary foster kid is named Gino,” Kiki explains.
“I see. Well, that certainly can and does happen. Sometimes an extended family member becomes aware of the situation and decides they want to raise the baby. Often, the grandparents step in. We believe in doing our best to keep the family together. In most cases, these children are not coming from stable homes. A lot of times the babies are born with drugs in their system and you’re dealing with a screaming infant whose little body is being weaned off the drugs. You and Connor must understand that.”
“Which is why I don’t think fostering is for us. I’m sorry to waste your time.” I straighten my silverware next to my plate while Gloria leans down to pull something out of her bag.
Kiki kicks me under the table in the same spot on my shin, and I vow to never let her borrow from my Hermès silk scarf collection ever again. I straighten up in my chair and grimace at my best friend, who’s giving me some weird crazy eyes like she’s telepathically trying to convey something. I widen my eyes in return and shrug.This isn’t an episode of Lassie, hon.No comprendo.
She picks up her butter knife and squeezes it in her clenched fist like she’s about to throw it across the table, straight into my heart. I place a hand over my chest and scrunch my brows.Do it, sister, and I’ll tell Tater Tot it was you who broke his favorite guitar, not Chase.She lifts an eyebrow and drops the knife when Gloria straightens in her chair with a pamphlet.
“Here, TJ, this helps explain a little more about becoming a foster parent. You can share this with your husband. In case you change your minds.”
I nimbly take the pamphlet from her outstretched hand.
“Gloria, tell me, if TJ and Connor have a change of heart, what is the next step for them?” Kiki asks sweetly while grinding her high heel into my foot. Aside from the blinding pain, I’m questioning our friendship and wondering if she should be committed.
There’s no question. She should be. I shove her foot off and try to kick her, but I miss and stub my toe on the center table leg instead.
“Great question, Mrs. Reed. They will need to take our classes and we’ll have to do a home visit and background checks, of course. Once they get approved, it’s only a matter of time before a baby or child becomes available.”
The server approaches our table and takes our order. After he leaves, Kiki focuses her attention on Gloria. “But it’s not a guarantee the baby will stay with you?”
“I’m afraid not. Sometimes you can have the baby for a week, sometimes two days. Sometimes it’s a year before the mom cleans herself up and the child is placed back with her.”
“Even though she was on the D.R.U.G.S.?” I whisper.
“Yes,” Gloria whispers back. “As long as she’s clean and putting in the work, the judge always tries to reunite the child with their biological mother.”
“But what if you’ve become attached to the baby?” I frown.
“It happens, I’m afraid. But we’re looking for the best-case scenario for the child. A lot of foster parents jump back in, helping their loss by taking in another child.”
“But what if we’re the best-case scenario for little Gino?”
Gloria smiles genuinely. “I have no doubt you would be. I can put in a good word for you, but ultimately, it’s the judge’s decision.”
“Well, then we’re screwed. You know Tennessee doesn’t protect LBGTQ rights. It’s difficult for gays to become parents.”
“What? TJ, that’s not true.” Kiki frowns.
“TJ is correct, I’m afraid. Tennessee is one of the states that allows tax-paying agencies to discriminate against LGBTQ in the name of religion. There is a chance a social worker or judge can deny you because you’re gay.”
“What? That’s insane,” Kiki says. “TJ and Connor would be the most loving, stable parents compared to where they might end up. I’ve heard some horror stories about foster parents only housing kids for the money or being sexually and verbally abused.”
Gloria holds up her hands. “I know. We vet all of our foster families, but sometimes they fall through the cracks and the children suffer. It was a tough pill for the LGBTQ community to swallow. Wejustgot the Supreme Court to allow gay marriage in all fifty states. That was a huge historic push for equality, but it didn’t protect their rights for fostering or adoption. I’m not going to sugarcoat it, TJ. You and Connor are in for an uphill battle. Tennessee is listed as the sixth-most conservative state in the country. We’ve come a long way, but not far enough. There are still a lot of people who don’t want equal rights. But that’s why I’m here, so I can advocate for your rights to adopt or foster children. I’m onyourside.”
Gloria looks down at the chicken salad the server places in front of her. “Thank you, this looks delicious.”
“Their chicken salad is to-die-for, great choice,” I murmur, stirring my ketchup with a French fry. I’m distraught over the news that adopting and fostering may not be as easy as we thought.
We dig into our food and eat in tenable silence before Gloria sets her fork down and pulls out a folder and notebook from her bag. “Here’s some more in-depth information for when you and Connor are ready. My card is attached.”
“If we didn’t want to go through all this heartbreak and trouble, then we should go through a surrogate. Is that what you’re telling me?” I ask Gloria, giving Kiki an I-told-you-so look.
“Being a foster parent can be one of the hardest jobs out there, but also one of the most rewarding. You’re saving a child’s life.” She presses her napkin daintily to her lips. “TJ, why don’t you tell me why you and Connor want to start a family?”
I put down my cheeseburger. “I’ve always loved the idea of having kids of my own, of having a big family one day, but it didn’t seem possible for an eccentric gay man in his thirties. And then I met Connor and saw him with his nephew…something inside me knew we had to have a family of our own. That we deserved it.”
