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“Oh no, TJ. Maybe you shouldn’t read this.”
“Too late, Shorts.”
Kiki picks up the magazine and reads the article out loud.
“Sonja King announced she was having a baby with her reality TV costar, Simon Brown fromLove Lost and Foundlast month, but love may be permanently lost for these two as they were seen arguing outside their Nashville home. Sources say that Simon was caughtin flagrante delictowith Sonja’s best friend, model Amanda Pierce. Not only has Sonja’s love life gone sideways, but so has her decorator, famed Nashville designer John Paul Pierre Luc. According to our sources,People Magazinewas supposed to do a spread on the nursery, but pulled out when they found out it was decorated like a Moulin Rouge brothel. One source called the room ‘extremely troubling and satanic’ and ‘they would never put a baby in that room’. Our sources say this is where her bestie and her baby daddy were caught in the act. Investigators found gum in the carpet belonging to Amanda who is often seen chewing gum. Sonja is devastated and due to give birth this June.”
Kiki looks up from the page. “TJ, you can’t seriously believe this load of crap. Investigators at the scene? Like it’s a crime scene?”
“Amandaisalways chewing gum,” I say.
“Yeah, but this is a gossip rag. It’s filled with half-truths and garbage,” Sarah says, picking up the magazine. She looks at the cover showing a grainy photo in the corner of Sonja arguing with Simon. “Although that looks real.”
“Doesn’t Sonja yell at everyone?” Andie cranes her neck to look.
“True.” Sarah bites her lip. “I don’t know if I buy it.”
“Well, because I knew you three would be total Debbie Downers, I called JPPL’s assistant, Claude, to confirm the story.”
“And?” Kiki waves her hand when I pause for dramatic effect.
“He confirmed it’s all true.Peoplepulled the story and JPPL is devastated. He thought Moulin Rouge wastrés magnifique. Allegedly, Sonja has been trash-talking him and said he took advantage of her, and she did not approve of the theme. She’s refusing to pay. Only time will tell about Simon, Amanda, and Sonja.”
“Well, I always say, what goes around comes around. Good thing you dodged using Jean Luc Poop as your designer.” Kiki winks.
“Yes, I think Connor would have had a coronary if he came home to a Moulin Rouge-themed nursery.”
“Any news from Gloria?” asks Kiki.
“No news, but I’m okay with it.” I sigh, then clap my hands. “Because we’ve got a baby shower and reveal to plan for Andie!”
“Oh, oh no.” Andie’s eyes double in size. “I’m good. Cam and I don’t need a reveal, or a shower, or any kind of party for that matter.”
“Now, Shorts, I realize Kiki’s baby reveal for Drew didn’t go as planned…”
“You smoke-bombed the entire party with green and purple smoke. Tatum’s great-aunt almost passed out.”
“I hear you, we’ll forgo the smoke. Ooh! What about glitter bombs in pink or blue?”
“No!” all three of them shout as one.
“You guys are no fun. Don’t worry, Shorts, I’ll keep this sharp wheel turning and figure out something spectacular. Oh, and get ready because my doula gloves are on. We’ll start practicing our breathing techniques in a few weeks.”
“Oh man, good luck with that.” Kiki laughs. “TJ, maybe you should have smelling salts with you in the delivery room this time.”
“God help me.” Andie puts in her head in her hands.
“One time, Kinky. Are you ever going to let me live it down?”
“Never.”
Andie smiles. “Here’s hoping I have another cesarian section.”
These girls don’t realize it yet, but they need me. “You guys, listen up! Who’s ready to go look at some properties?”
“Ooh, me!” Sarah pops out of her chair.
“Me too,” Kiki says. “Andie, you coming?”
