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Kiki sighs before picking back up where she left off. “TJ Ryan may be a jokester in his own right, but when it comes to running Nashville Style, he walks the straight and narrow.” Kiki glances up. “Seriously? Who wrote this crap?”
“Kinky, don’t be jelly. I can’t help it that I get requests for interviews.”
“Did TJ offer their journalist a free makeup session with Sarah again?” Andie sits down with a bowl of popcorn.
“TJ, seriously?” Sarah shouts from the kitchen. She sits down with another bowl of popcorn and hands Kiki a bottle of water. “You have to stop offering our services for free so you can get your name in a magazine.”
“Ladies, chillax. It’s called free advertising.”
“I don’t see you offering up your services,” Sarah says pointedly.
“Sare Bear, I don’t have time in my busy day to offer free consults. You be talkin’ crazy, mon.”
“First of all, you’re not Jamaican,” Kiki says. “You’re a white guy from New Mexico with flaming red hair. Second, you need to ask us permission first before doing any more of these horrible interviews.” Kiki turns up the volume. “Now everyone, quiet.”
Nashville Next’s opening credits roll.
“On tonight’s episode, Josie Jansen fromNashville Nextwill be interviewing Nashville’s very own reality TV star, Sonja King.”
Video clips of Sonja play from her reality show,Love Lost and Found, where she’s kissing her baby daddy Simon, to her and her best friend Amanda on the red carpet posing for photographers.
“First of all, Sonja, I want to say congratulations on the pregnancy.” Josie smiles brightly at Sonja.
“Whoever did the fillers in Sonja’s face should have their license taken away,” Andie says. “She looks like she’s forty, not twenty-eight.”
“Her makeup is awful.” Sarah nods in agreement. “Look how shiny her forehead is. She looks like she came from the gym.”
Sonja smiles at the camera. “Thanks, Josie. I love being pregnant. It opens your eyes to a whole new world you didn’t know existed.”
“What’s wrong with her voice?” Kiki grimaces. “Why does she sound like a breathy six-year-old?”
“Shush, you guys,” I scold, shoving popcorn in my mouth. “I can’t hear.”
Sonja does look awful. Her hair is up, but not sleek like her signature look. She has dark circles under her eyes that even makeup can’t cover and the fillers have made her look like a pufferfish.
“Rumors are that you were supposed to host season two ofLove Lost and Found. What will happen now that you’re pregnant?”
“Wow, look at Josie Jansen asking the hard-hitting questions. Of course, she can still host, you twit. Just because you’re pregnant doesn’t mean you can’t do anything else,” Andie gripes. We all look over at her in shock and then start laughing. “Sorry, y’all, but I’m so tired of everyone thinking your life is doomed if you get pregnant. I had a lady come up to me in the store the other day and literally tell me my life is over. It’s ridiculous.”
I pat Andie’s knee. “Don’t listen to the haters, Shorts.”
Sonja purses her puffy lips. “I plan on taking a little time off with the baby and hosting in the future.”
Josie’s smile drops and she looks at Sonja with concern. “There have been rumors that you and the baby’s daddy have split. Can you confirm this for us?”
Sonja’s eyes dart from the camera to Josie and then to someone off-camera. She laughs nervously, rubbing the palms of her hands over her thighs. “Just rumors, Josie. Simon and I are happily awaiting for the baby to arrive.”
“Bullshit,” Kiki crows. “Did you see her eyes? She’s lying like a whore in church.”
“Is Simon here today?” Josie asks.
“Um, no, he’s on location.”
“Yeah, on location in Amanda’s pants,” I say. Kiki high-fives me.
“You guys.” Andie frowns. “Be nice.”
“Andie, you know she’s an awful human being. Otherwise, I would feel really sorry for her,” Kiki says.
