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One small detail still troubled me, however, as I stared down at the grimoire once more. Rur’axze held enough power to affect a mated couple across planes. The book had described demons tearing through one world to the next to satiate the incessant drive which burned inside of them. Aside from Cicatrix and the other birds, I would be alone in my search for Farryn’s father.
I would need to find a way to restrain myself while scouring neighboring towns and villages, or risk abandoning the expedition to come after her.
Or worse, seek relief in other ways.
* * *
I exited the back of the house to find all three dogs waiting at attention for me. Cerberus stood as still as a statue, ears twitching for the first command to leave my mouth. “Come,” I said in a stern voice, and he broke his stiff stance, lowering his head as he trotted toward me.
Lowering to one knee, I ran my hand over his shiny, black coat and lifted his muzzle, looking him straight in the eye. Black orbs stared back at me without a hint of tension, or betrayal.
“I hear you tried to attack Farryn.”
With his jaw still caught in my palm, Cerberus diverted his eyes from mine on a whine.
“She is not a threat to you. She carries my child inside of her.”
No sooner had I spoken the words than his lips peeled back into a quiet snarl. His eyes shifted to mine, flickering orange, as they did when the dogs felt threatened, or angry. A low and steady growl rumbled in his throat, echoed by the two dogs still standing to attention behind him.
“Enough!” As curious as I was to know what it was that he’d found threatening about her, I didn’t like the look in his eyes. The murderous gaze I’d seen on a few occasions, moments before he’d torn an animal, or demon, apart with his teeth. The thought of him tearing into Farryn that way had me squeezing tighter to his jaw, affirming the warning from before. “You have been a loyal friend to me my whole life, but you threaten to harm what I love most, when she has caused you no harm in return. She has shown you the kind of love and acceptance most do not, and you would approach her as a mindless beast? You are better than this.”
The orange glow dimmed to the black from before, and Cerberus whined again.
“You’re to stay away from her. All of you. Do not go near her.” I pushed to my feet and stared down at the dog, who sat with his head lowered, as he did when he was in trouble. “Dismissed.”
Whining again, Cerberus reluctantly turned away, looking back at me with sadness in his eyes before he trotted off with the other two.
21
FARRYN
The waning light of dusk trickled through the curtains into my room, as I lay in bed staring out at a soft glow that shimmered over the treetops, from the Nightshade flowers somewhere below my window.
Four days had passed since the arrival of both Vespyr and Vaszhago. In that time, I’d kept to myself mostly. Reading. Exploring the cathedral and rooms where I’d not before ventured. Always shadowed by the two of them.
While Vespyr tended not to hover, she checked on me frequently, always inquiring whether, or not, I was in need of something, and often, I wasn’t. Much as I’d come to enjoy her company, I didn’t need an attendant. It felt ridiculous. While my energy and appetite had certainly waned in recent days, I was still perfectly capable of doing things myself.
Vaszhago, on the other hand, remained a silent watcher. Even the times I didn’t see him, I could sense he was there. Maybe one of the weird side effects of the binder, or something.
As much as I could appreciate Jericho’s reasons for hiring the demon, I hated the lack of privacy. It was only a matter of time before Jericho would leave to search for my father, and I prayed not only for their safe return, but that my father could help Jericho and I return to some semblance of normal again. The separation between us had worsened in the last couple of days, with him constantly in his office, his face always buried in a book. Studying. Constantly. Obsessing over his lost power and whatever else had begun to consume his thoughts. At night, I’d catch of peek of him staring in on me, before he’d stride off down the hallway.
I avoided approaching him myself, for fear he’d bring up the bonding issue again, but my body mourned his heat, his touch. The absence of it, of him, overwhelmed me sometimes. Like he’d never left Ex Nihilo and only his ghost roamed Blackwater Cathedral.
Each day, I lived the tortuous reality of having him so close, yet being oceans apart. As his baby grew inside me, I felt as if I were withering on the outside, though not quite slipping back into the same dark headspace as before.
He was still alive, after all.
Earlier that afternoon, I’d watched him swim in the grotto room, the place I’d first seen him half-naked when I’d arrived at the cathedral. Though still impressively well-honed, he’d looked slimmer than before, his body undoubtedly suffering under the weight of his stress. Something I knew of all too well, as I had begun to notice the prominence of bones in my own figure as of late.
When not lamenting over Jericho and myself, I’d attempted distraction by inquiring about Osiris, Vespyr’s supposed shadow friend, but she claimed he’d stopped speaking with her since the day in the library. Convenient. Seemed everyone was suffering whatever inexplicable silence had fallen over Blackwater.I suspected there had been more to Osiris, though. Perhaps more than Vespyr even realized, because I hadn’t mentioned the blonde to anyone, aside from that night back at Aunt Nelle’s, when I’d told Jericho about my dream. Since then, I’d suffered another nightmare of the strange woman standing in my room here, staring at me. I’d woken up screaming, and only Vaszhago came plowing through the door asking if I was all right.
As if Jericho hadn’t heard me, at all.
While I appreciated Vaszhago’s quick response, I hated that it was him. As childish as it sounded, I wanted Jericho to burst through that door and lift me into his arms. I wanted his words of comfort. His touch.
The light dimmed in the bedroom as night gradually fell over the cathedral, and in spite of knowing I’d never fall asleep, I closed my eyes. I’d come to learn that if I didn’t shutter out the cathedral by a certain time, it would begin playing tricks on my mind. Sending shadows across the wall, or a creaking sound that’d have me feeling like someone was in the room. It was better to be asleep.
Through a dark haze, a different sound reached my ears. Not the creaking of wood, nor howling of wind against the windowpane.Loud. Tormented. It reached down inside my chest and squeezed my heart.
