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All while ignoring the guys as much as I could.
But why?
I didn’t know, really. I guess it was because I felt stupid. No, that wasn’t right either. It was more that I didn’twantto feel stupid, yet if I continued down the path I’d been already following there was a distinct possibility of exactly that.
For these reasons I went pretty much incommunicado over the next several days, especially as things fell into place. I let phone calls go to voicemail. I left text-messages unanswered. The more the guys called the more I struggled to avoid them, until I wasn’t just ignoring my phone every night, I was turning it off too.
Work was a welcome distraction, but so was helping Aegean along with its transition as promised. I curated the restaurant’s Facebook page, and Tyler left me an excited message as the Kickstarter reached its goal. We made all the necessary calls to get the kitchen moved and the ovens swapped over, then worked on ways to minimize the downtime. More than once I was physically invited over, to help with the decision making process. Each time I declined. I told the boys I had work when they met with the new kitchen designer, and lied about having classes to teach the night they went shopping for decor.
That part made me feel especially shitty.
At some point Tyler moved in with Luca, with plans to fix up one of the extra bedrooms for the time being. It was a temporary fix, but also a great fit. Tyler could save on rent, allowing him to focus solely on setting up the new restaurant. And Luca, all alone in that big dark house, would have a roommate to come home to for a change.
Again they invited me over. Again I made something up. It sucked having to lie, but the alternative sucked even worse. I couldn’t tell them the truth. I couldn’t give them what they wanted, because deep down it was what I wanted too. And that simply couldn’t happen.
Instead, I waved away their invite to help draw up a new floor plan, and outright refused to answer when asked my opinion of the new menu graphics. Each time it grew harder, and the boys became more persistent. They wanted me involved. They wanted my opinions.
Avoiding them was the second hardest thing I’d ever had to do. It reminded me of thefirsthardest thing, which of course was even worse.
I hadn’t thought about the night I left Dallas for almost a week, and that was a new record. But here I was, sitting alone in my cold, empty apartment. Hating myself for having sent Tyler to voicemail for the umpteenth time; while I debated whether or not to hit the gym and grab something to eat.
In the end, I decided to do both. Realizing I’d rather get undressed in the warmth of the women’s locker room, I threw my gym clothes into a duffel bag and slung it over my shoulder. I was in the process of opening the door to the street when I abruptly bumped into someone.
Or rather,threesomeones.
“Well, look who it is.”
Tyler stood in the doorway, flanked by Luca and Jay. All three of them were dripping with a cold rain. Their expressions looked somewhat worried, maybe even a little hurt.
“Er… hi,” I breathed, trying to mask my nervousness with surprise. “I didn’t expect—”
“How long did you plan on avoiding us?”
Tyler’s question spun out in utter silence, wholly unanswered. The only noises were the whispers of the rain.
“I’m not avoiding you.”
“Oh no?” Jay challenged. “We invited you out tonight, to celebrate signing the lease. You said you couldn’t make it.”
I opened my mouth to say something, but every excuse fled my brain all at once. I felt terrible. Like utter shit.
“Where were you going?” asked Luca.
“To work out,” I shrugged. “And maybe get some food.”
“But not to see us.”
I paused, then shook my head. “No.”
The truth was painful, however it hurt less than a lie. But nothing hurt as much as the looks on their faces.
“It’s not that I don’t want to,” I told them. “It’s just that I can’t.”
Beneath his dark, handsome brow, Luca’s eyes narrowed. “You… can’t.”
I shook my head slowly.
“Why?”
