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Luca pushed back again, clearing his throat loudly and regaining his composure. He bit his lip before continuing.
“So a couple of months later this box shows up and it’s got all Mike’s things in it. I meaneverything,not just the stuff he owned in country, but stuff from home too. Not that he had very much. In the game of life, Michael Serrano traveled light. No wife, no kids, no brothers or sisters. Not even any parents.”
“Damn.”
“Yeah, that’s what I said. I guess in the end I became Mike’s brother — his only family. Because along with the box came a big sum of money. Everything he’d ever made in the Army that he’d managed to sock away.”
His eyes shifted, glancing all around the room. I was starting to understand.
“You used it to buy this place,” I said. “The money he left you.”
Luca nodded. “It’s what Serrano always talked about: buying something run down and fixing it up. Apparently he was quite the carpenter. And if he ever got back, this would be exactly the type of project he’d hoped to get into.”
It made sense now, how much Luca felt he owed this man. There’d been an unspoken brotherhood between them. The same type of brotherhood he now shared with Jay and Tyler.
“This place is his as much as it’s mine,” Luca finished. “For that I’m grateful. But Mike saved my life on more than one occasion, and I wasn’t there for him when he needed me. I’ll never forgive myself for that.”
“But—”
“I know, I know,” Luca jumped in. “It wasn’t my fault. I couldn’t have helped. If I’d been there too, I’d only be dead as well.”
I stopped mid-sentence. My mouth slowly closed.
“That’s what you were going to say, right? All those things?”
I shrugged helplessly, then eventually nodded. He nodded back, indicating he understood.
“All of it is probably true,” he admitted. “I know that in the back of my mind. Even so, knowing it doesn’t help. It doesn’t assuage the guilt. Because you see, when you getthatclose to someone, when you really look out for them, you always feel responsible. Mike would’ve felt the same way, if the roles were reversed. There’s nothing you can tell yourself to change it.”
“I wouldn’t want to change it,” I told him truthfully. I pointed at the mantle. “You honor him. You remember him. He lives in your heart, so his memory will never die.”
Luca sat quietly, saying nothing as I went on.
“The guilt you’re feeling is intertwined with your friend’s memory. There’s no extracting it. No wishing it away.” I squeezed his hand again. “But you should also realize what your brother would’ve wanted for you more than anything else. And that’s to live a life of happiness and fulfillment. Enough even for thebothof you.”
Slowly, methodically, a smile painted its way across his handsome face. The sorrow was gone. In its place, a grin of gratitude and understanding.
“Now come upstairs with me,” I beckoned, standing abruptly and extending my hand. “You keep me warm tonight,” I promised softly, “and I’ll keep you safe from dreams.”
Thirty-Three
JENNA
DING DING.
I rolled over groggily, reaching for my phone. My eyes were too gummed by sleep to read the text-messages that ultimately woke me up. But hey, it was light outside. I had to get up anyway.
No. No you don’t…
Well, technically I guess not. Today was actually my day off. It was the one day I allowed myself the luxury of sleeping late. The one day I didn’t feel badly about not rolling out of bed and—
I reached over at the other side of the bed, where the sheets were already cold. Luca was gone. Tyler was too, most likely. They’d be at the restaurant, prepping for the craziness of another day. Jay too, if he had the time off.
You should probably get your ass in gear.
Putting my feet on the floor was hard. Stepping into the guys’ shower however, well, that was the easy part. They had such a manly bathroom, too. I’d filled it with a few scented shampoos and feminine body washes — even a pink toothbrush — but it was still unmistakably bachelor-orientated and utilitarian.
Fifteen minutes later I was downstairs pouring coffee and activating my remote start. A moderate amount of snow had fallen while I’d been asleep. I’d spent half of it curled up in Luca’s big arms, and the other half spooning him backwards, grinding my naked, bubble-shaped ass up against his beautifully-hard body.
