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My eyes widen in surprise. Don’t get me wrong, Ash, Blake, and I are all poor college students. But we’ve always been able to make rent, and we all have enough support around us for help in case money is ever an issue. And Mia? Her aunt’s married to a rockstar.Literally.
“Maybe she asked Fender or Hadley for a loan?” I offer.
“Come on, Kate. You know Mia as well as I do. The girl doesn’t ask for anything. Ever. You really think she’d borrow money or ask for a handout from anyone, let alone her famous aunt and uncle?”
The girl has a point.
“And even if she did, it wouldn’t explain the pepper spray situation. Don’t get me wrong. Mia’s smart to carry it. But what triggered the idea? I dunno. I feel like there’s something I’m missing. I just wish she’d talk to me.” Ash gives me the side-eye. “Like how I wish you’d talk to me.”
“There’s nothing to talk about.”
“Uh-huh. Sure.”
“Seriously, Ash,” I mutter. “I’m fine. And I’m sorry you had to see me have a, uh, anepisode, but––”
“I’m not,” she interrupts.
I lift my hand and silence her. “I’m fine, okay? But I’m begging you to please stop treating me differently. Please. I need normalcy.”
She nibbles her lower lip, her gaze drifting to me from the corner of her eye as she flips her blinker on. “I know. I just love you, Kate.”
“I love you, too, Ash.”
“Can you promise me something?” she asks.
“What?”
“I wouldn’t pry if I didn’t feel like I needed to for you to open up to me.”
“Was there a request in there or…?”
She laughs. “My request is for you to promise me you’ll let me know if you ever need anything. Okay?”
“I mean, I did ask you to take me to work today,” I argue.
“Only after I found out you were planning to take the bus.”
Again, the girl has a point. I hate asking for help. I hate being a burden. But it’s hard. Being the broken one. The one who struggles to stand on her own. The one who’s a ticking time bomb, despite every single effort I put into being stable and impenetrable. The truth is I’m not stable. I’m not impenetrable. And I’m not sure I ever will be. But knowing it and embracing it are two things I’ve yet to master.
When Ash sees me grimace, she adds, “Exactly. I’m all about independence. You know I am. But take it from a girl who never felt like she could rely on anyone without being a burden to them before finding a guy who convinced me to rely on him. It’s pretty great. Being able to count on someone. And I want you to be able to count on me. That’s all I’m saying.”
“I know,” I murmur.
“Good. All right, I’ll drop it.” She pulls up to the curb outside Butter and Grace and shifts her car into park. “Have fun at work. What time do you get off?”
“At ten.”
“Perfect. I’ll see you then.”
“Ash,” I start.
“Kate,” she warns.
I grab the door handle but give in. “Fine. I’ll see you after my shift.”
Her expression lights up. “Perfect. Bye!”
4
