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“I’d never let you get hurt, Kiera.”
Our faces were inches apart, and he was saying something sweet to me. The only thought that ran through my mind at his words was that he might not have wanted to see me physically hurt, but that didn’t mean I hadn’t experienced the worst of emotional wounds.
I reached my hand out to the jet ski handles, held on firmly, and stood to get myself off of Johnny. We had been entirely too close, and it wasn’t going to do anything to help me not succumb to the mixed emotions I’d been feeling since we arrived here on this trip.
Once I was situated comfortably in the seat, Johnny leaned forward into me, and reached his arms forward. He gave me a quick lesson on using the jet ski, which I was grateful for, considering I’d forgotten most of it since the brief lesson we’d been giving at the rental shop.
For the first few minutes, all of my focus was on driving the jet ski and getting comfortable using the controls. Soon enough, everything felt like second nature, and I was steadily increasing my speed and making a few runs through the water.
The rest of the girls were still getting some instruction or just concentrating on getting more comfortable driving, and that was when things took a turn for me.
I became acutely aware of Johnny and the position of our bodies. I couldn’t ignore all the questions that popped into my head as a result, either. For instance, I wasn’t driving nearly fast enough to warrant him holding on the way that he was. Why would he be doing that? It wasn’t as though the other guys were doing the same thing that it would have set off alarm bells if he didn’t.
Being out on the water, feeling the breeze and smelling the salty air, I was catapulted right back to my first encounter with Johnny ever. Him running to my rescue, the walk along the beach, and the instant connection I felt to him.
We were where we were now, but with his arms around me the way they were, remembering what it used to feel like to have him hug me and hold me, I couldn’t stop it from happening.
Tears welled in my eyes.
My reality was smacking me in the face. Johnny and I were over, and after this trip, I was never going to have this with him again. I was never going to feel his warm embrace or the comfort and reassurance I got from having him close.
I was so caught up in all that I was feeling, my tears clouding my vision, that it wasn’t until it was too late that I realized something was wrong.
“Slow down, slow down, slow down.”
Johnny’s panicked voice rang in my head, but it was too late. I was speeding along, and I was heading right for Margot and Simon.
The next thing I knew, I was off the jet ski and flying through the air, but it wasn’t because we’d had a collision. Johnny’s arms had clamped around me as he shouted, “Let go.”
With superhuman effort, he hoisted us both up and off the jet ski and into the water. We landed, and no sooner had that happened, he asked, “What were you doing, Kiera? You nearly crashed right into Margot and Simon.”
It was too much.
Too much.
I burst into tears. “I’m so sorry,” I apologized. “I was… I wasn’t… I’m so sorry.”
Johnny’s arms came around me, one at my upper back, and the other low on my waist. Our life jackets were keeping us afloat.
“It’s okay,” he said, gently. “Simon managed to get himself and Margot out of your path. All that matters is that nobody was hurt.”
I took in several deep breaths, attempting to settle myself quickly.
“Are you guys okay?” Thea asked.
My face was still pressed into Johnny’s neck. He held me a little tighter and said, “Yeah, I’ve just got a little speed racer on my hands here.”
From their viewpoint, I was likely just hiding my face due to sheer embarrassment. When I heard them drive off, Johnny’s hand cradled the back of my head, and he asked, “Are you alright?”
I lifted my face from his neck, pulled back, and looked at him. “Yeah. Yeah, thank you for reacting quickly.”
His eyes roamed over my face and lingered for a few minutes in silence before he jerked his head toward the lone jet ski that was floating in the water and asked, “Are you ready to try again?”
I shook my head. “No. No, I can’t.”
“You’ll be fine,” he assured me.
“No, Johnny. I can’t do it. I can’t have you holding me from behind like that,” I explained, my throat tight.
