Page 91 of Take It on Faith


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“Honestly, Andrew,” I said. “The fact that you even have to ask speaks volumes about how clueless about me you really are.”

* * *

When I finally made it to the park, my heart began to slam against my chest with the force of a WWE wrestler. My palms slipped against each other, slick with sweat as I paced by our bench. I couldn’t wait for him to get here even though I knew that, true to form, he would be late.

Nicholas and I weren’t together anymore. Andrew wasn’t with anyone, either, now that Thalia broke it off with him. Everything was laid out perfectly. We had already graduated from college. We could travel the country together this year. I could maybe start my photography career.

The moment he showed up, though, I knew my suspicions were spot on; something was definitely wrong. A storm cloud brewed above his head, and I knew that this would be one of his bad days. My watch beeped, and I took a breath. It’s okay, I thought. We can still make it work.

“Andrew, hey,” I said, feeling a little breathless. He plopped down on our bench without looking at me, elbows pressed into his legs and hands steepled. My breath quickened, and my watch beeped again. I ignored it and sat down next to him. “What’s wrong?”

“Everything.” He glowered at his hands. “Let’s talk about something else. What did you want to meet for?”

“Well.” I cleared my throat, more nervous than I’ve ever been around him. I fiddled with my sleeve. “I broke up with Nicholas.”

“I thought it was mutual.”

“Same thing.” I cleared my throat again. “We’re not together anymore.”

“So?”

“So I wanted to tell you something.” I took a deep breath and an even deeper plunge. “I’m in love with you.”

Andrew’s head snapped up. “What?”

“I’m in love with you.” Our eyes met and I blushed. “I think I’ve been in love with you for years, actually. I can’t stop thinking about you. I always want to be around you. I’ve been waiting for you to kiss me for years, and when we finally did the other night, something clicked within me. When we hug, everything’s right with my world. We fit perfectly together. You make me feel like I can do anything. I love you.”

We sat there in silence, my heart racing as Andrew’s glowering grew. Finally, he said, “Fucking unbelievable.”

“What’s wrong?” The sinking feeling in my stomach got worse. Something bad is about to happen.

“You get out of one relationship and you try to hop into another. You don’t want to be with me. You want to be with anyone. You’re just lonely.” He got up from the bench to glare down at me.

I stood up, too, facing him with a frown of my own. “That’s not true, and not fair—”

“It’s true and fair, Alicia. You love the idea of being with me. You love who you are with me. But you don’t love me. You never have.”

“Andrew, wait, let’s talk about this—”

“No, I will not fucking wait. And we are talking about it. Finally. Finally! Because you never want to fucking talk about it, but you choose this day, the day after your relationship with Nicholas ends? How convenient.”

“Andrew, it’s not like that—”

“I bet it’s not.”

“Will you stop for a minute and let me finish my goddamn sentence, Andrew Parker!”

We faced each other, chests heaving, both of us out of breath. I had been trying to stop the snowball from stampeding down the hill of despair, but even I couldn’t save Andrew from himself, or save myself from getting sucked into it. Again.

This was not the way this was supposed to go, I thought.

“I do love you,” I said. “And yes, the timing might seem convenient—”

“Real convenient.”

“—but that doesn’t mean that my love is any less genuine.” I took a steadying breath. “And yes, it was a quick breakup with Nicholas, but everything is fine now. He and I are fine. There’s no loose ends, nothing to worry about.”

“Fine, fine, fine,” Andrew mocked. “Everything is fine. Isn’t it, Ace?” He sighed and ran his hands over his head. My heart melted and wept at the same time. “But the thing is, it’s not fine. You don’t love me. And even if you did, so what?” He turned his back to me as he walked toward the entrance of the park. “So-the-fuck what?”

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