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“Why does it matter that I dated her? I’m married to you.”
“Because,” I said, turning around to face him. “We’re married in name only. Also, she’s a better fit for you than I am. Which brings up the question:whyaren’t you married to her instead? Or any of the other women you’ve dated? It would be less work, wouldn’t it, to be with them? They already know your family, they’re successful, and gorgeous, and…well-bred. Why not them?”
Nathan’s eyes roved over my face. “Honestly?” he said. “They’re not you.”
My breath caught in my throat. “What?” I choked out.
He smoothed his hands down my arms, smiling slightly as he looked at me. “From the moment I read your profile, I was drawn to you,” he said. “I can’t explain why, especially since I’ve been nothing but a clumsy fool when I’m talking to you or around you. But something about you speaks to me, makes me want to hold you, love on you.” His gaze took on a heat that made me squeeze my legs together. “Do other things with you.”
“O-okay,” I stammered. “But still. Attraction aside, why not marry them, stay with them for the six months, and then get a divorce? Seems like a win-win.”
He traced the buttons on my blouse with gentle fingers, watching with careful eyes as my breathing became belabored. I sunk lower into the pool of my desire, abject panic melting away in favor of fulfilling a need I hadn’t realized I’d had until the night before.
“Because I couldn’t imagine coming home to them, even for six months,” he murmured. “But Icouldimagine coming home to you.”
“Even only knowing me for a couple of weeks?” I breathed.
“Even then,” he said. And as he brought his lips to mine, fusing us together as if he couldn’t fight fate any longer, the last wisps of my fears evaporated in a cloud of smoke, leaving nothing but a white-hot feeling of lust behind in its wake.
ChapterTwenty-Five
NATHAN
When I first proposed marriage to Ciara, it was an impersonal, contracted business deal. Get married, live together, save the estate. That was it.
But as I brought my lips to hers, I realized that it had turned into much more than that. I had feelings for this woman. Feelings I didn’t want to name or understand.
Her lips moved beneath mine, and I backed her up against the pantry shelves, bracing her head in my hands. I gently pulled her pouty bottom lip between my teeth, releasing a sigh from her that granted me open access. I explored her. She tasted like sweetness and sunshine, and pancakes.
I pulled back to drop a kiss on her jawline, letting go of her face to palm her hips. I groaned as I realized she fit perfectly in my hands, then lifted her and wrapped her legs around my waist.
I stopped to look at her, to truly see the woman who had baffled and surprised me from the moment we met. I was rewarded with the sight of her disarray. Her big, brown eyes were wide and wild, but also…wary.
“What is it?” I asked. “Why do you look scared?”
“Not scared,” she said. “Just…thinking that we should be careful.”
“Are you worried about STDs? Or getting pregnant? I got tested recently and was negative for everything, and I can wear a condom—”
“It’s not that,” she said. “We don’t know each other that well. We’re practically strangers. And we have this marriage deal…doesn’t it complicate things if we have sex?”
“It doesn’t have to be. It can be very straightforward. A—”—I arched into her, letting my dick brush her center—“release of sorts.”
She bit her lip, her eyes slamming closed. “Nathan, don’t do that. I’m trying to be serious here.”
“I know;, so am I.” But I shifted so I wasn’t pressed against her. “Why should we put pressure on ourselves to sort this out? Let’s let it be what it is: we’re in this contractual relationship for the time being, at least the next six months, and we’re trying to enjoy our time together. We’re obviously attracted to each other, and we’re consenting adults. We’re even sanctioned by the state of Massachusetts to have sex. Might as well, right?”
She looked past me, lip still caught between her teeth and arms casually draped across my shoulders. The evening light played across her face, the radiant orange and soft purple-pink of sunset. As I watched her, several emotions played across her face, most of them too fleeting for me to name. I rested in the quiet, allowing her the time to process whatever we were doing here and giving myself that same courtesy.
Honestly, I didn’t know what I wanted. On the one hand, I knew that it would be easier, in the end, to have a clean break with no emotions involved. Ciara had a life to get back to, and I felt guilty for trapping her in a marriage, even for a short period of time. It didn’t matter that she had willingly agreed, nor that she was getting something out of the deal. She was largely in this marriage because of me.
Still, a smaller, less prominent part of me wanted to be reckless, for once in my life. Everything I did was to be successful in my parents’ eyes, for them to be proud of me and content with the successful person I had become. And though I had married Ciara to keep the estate intact, staying with her—developing feelings for her despite our plan to part ways—would be forme.It would be because I wanted it—for no one else.
That reckless part of me made me feel things I didn’t want to feel or admit to feeling. Because if I admitted it, it wasn’tjusta contractual relationship anymore.
Finally, Ciara looked at me and nodded. “You’re right,” she said softly. “We’re married by law, and we’re both adults. No pressure to do anything, and we can stop anytime.”
Though my stomach lurched at the idea that I would be inside her once and then end our marriage contract and have to watch her be with someone else, I joked, “Consider it a free trial.”
