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“And then you hid from me for almost a week. Why is that, exactly?”
“Because…” I hesitated, trying to think of the words. “Because it didn’t feel right.”
“And why not?” Ciara was smirking now, a facial expression that I’d never seen on her before. She was downright smug.
“Because you’re a good girl,” I returned. “Ciara, you’rethe actual romanticof the two of us, the one who wanted to have sex in a bed. I was just following your lead, making it good for you. Doing things the right way.”
“Uh-huh. Or maybe it’s because you said you were gonna make me hold the headboard, but ended up wanting to make love instead.”
I was quiet at that because she was right.If she could see right through me when it came to wanting to make love,I thought,I wonder what else she sees.My heart raced at the thought.
She dropped her head from her hand to rest her forehead on my chest. “There’s nothing wrong with being a romantic,” she said quietly. “I’m one, after all. It’s nice here. We have snacks.”
I laughed.
“But I’ll keep your secret,” she continued. “Besides, you being a romantic, too, will make it easier for you to be married to me for the next five or so months for our deal. It’ll be a practice run for when you find your one true love.”
I sobered at the mention of our marriage deal and me finding someone after her. The notion that Icouldfind anyone after her, let alone want to be with anyone else other than her, made me sick to my stomach. But the reality of what I’d gotten myself into hit me full force. Now that I had been inside her, had seen her come apart, had seen how responsive she was to me…I knew it would be that much more difficult to let her go.
ChapterThirty-One
CIARA
My alarm blared early the next morning, and I groaned. I had put off checking my email and regular mail for my acceptance or rejection letter because of my feelings for Nathan, and the night before had cinched it for me.
I closed my eyes and smiled at the memories of our lovemaking. Nathan had been tender, kind…and incredibly sexy. I shivered as I replayed the way he held my hair when he was in my mouth, the curve of his grin when he looked down at me, the way our bodies were completely in sync the first time we had sex and every time thereafter.
And though Estelle’s warning replayed in my head on a loop, her voice became fainter and fainter against the backdrop of all that had transpired since our conversation.
Would it be so bad to let myself fall in love with Nathan and give our fake marriage a real chance? I had been waiting this long to join an animation program; why not just wait a little longer, until everything had settled with Nathan’s estate, and then apply for the next best school?
Now that I have more resources through Nathan and don’t have to work at the bookstore, I can afford to be farther from home,I thought. Even if I was across the country, I could probably get Nathan to help me get back home for the weekends, to check on my dad and make sure he was okay. Maybe I could even apply to that school in Los Angeles. Or I could even commute from Massachusetts to New Jersey, if needed.
I stopped myself with a rueful shake of my head.Talk about putting the cart before the horse.I didn’t even have an acceptance or rejection letter from the New Jersey program yet, and I hadn’t applied to any other programs.
As I continued to vacillate between my dreams and reality, the weight of Nathan’s arm around my waist shifted, and he dropped a kiss in the dip in my neck. “Hey, beautiful,” he murmured.
Hearing his voice immediately pulled me from my reverie, and I smiled as I looked over my shoulder at him.
“Hey,” I said softly. “How did you sleep?”
“Amazingly, as always.” He chuckled, kissing my shoulder this time. “Or at least, as amazing as I do when I sleep with you.
“I mean,” he said, clearing his throat, “when I actually sleep with you, as opposed to having sex. Having sex with you keeps me awake. Obviously.”
“Obviously.” I grinned.
A thought occurred to me, and I turned fully toward him to ask. “We have our engagement party tonight, but did you have any plans before then? Do you have to finish up the work you were gonna do?”
“It can wait.” His hand followed the curve of my hip, his eyes tracking the movement.
I frowned as I processed what he said. “But I thought it was an urgent matter?” I asked.
“Nothing seems urgent when you’re naked in my bed.”
“But we’ve only been having sex since last night.”
“And this morning. And it happened multiple times, which is plenty of time to know that nothing will ever seem as urgent when you’re naked in my bed. This is the only place I need to be.”
