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I don’t knowwhy I’m here torturing myself, but I can’t seem to stop. I’ve been positioned at this balcony every night for three solid weeks, watching her, wanting her, and knowing that I can’t have her. She’s a window to my past, to a man who doesn’t exist anymore, and I closed the door on him a long time ago. Yet the taste of her on my fingers after I made her come still makes my mouth water. She was fucking stunning when she climaxed around my fingers and I thought I might shoot my load in my pants like a teenage boy with a porn mag as I watched her.
My dick is raw from fucking my fist, trying to pound the vision of her from my mind, and yet here I am waiting, watching like a fucking stalker. I tried to convince Harrison to fire her but after I’d already fired Marc for daring to look at something I considered mine, Harrison was pissed. He refused without a good reason, which I couldn’t give him, especially as I couldn’t give a sound reason for firing Marc. So, I’d had Ryker scan her social media looking for an excuse to get rid of her, to get her out of my life and he found almost nothing. She’s a ghost, a beautiful ethereal mystery, and I find I want answers. I want to break her, to ruin her, and yet, there is an infinitesimal part of my soul that still finds it wants to protect her, to claim her and I need to stamp it out, eradicate that weakness that she’s exposed in me.
Grown men fear me, my friends know that I’m not to be pushed, and yet she faced me with her head held high. That intrigues me, so maybe I’ll let her stay and work herself to the bone until she quits. I’ll enjoy watching that from my place looking down on her.
My little Lottie has grown from a sweet child and a curious shy teen into a breathtakingly beautiful woman. There’s a quiet confidence about her as she moves and yet I see the vulnerability she’s trying to hide and it’s that chink in her armor that makes me pause. I should stay away from her. I hurt her once and I don’t want to do it again, even though she broke my heart, but I can’t seem to get my conscious mind to talk to my emotional one. She’s a risk to me. She has the power to make me weak and I won’t allow it.
Harrison comes up to lean beside me at the balcony railing. “You still stalking our new barmaid?”
I frown at him, wanting to stew in my bad mood alone. “I’m not stalking her. I’m watching her.”
He chuckles, making me turn to him with a glare. “What the fuck has she ever done to you to make you even more of an asshole than you usually are?”
Only a select few would be brave enough to speak to me in such a way, and now I regret allowing even that. “I don’t trust her.”
“Why? She seems perfectly hard-working. The customers love her, the staff love her, she’s never late and is a quick learner.”
I have no intention of telling him of my history with Lottie, so I just grunt in response. “Did you come up here to give me shit or did you want something?”
“Yes, I have the new staff rosters and it’s your turn to sign them off this week.”
I put out my hand for the clipboard he’s carrying. Harrison can be so old school sometimes, with his paper and pen obsession. It drives Ryker crazy, which only makes Harrison do it more. We take it in turns to oversee the roster; there is no need, but Harrison insists so that we’re aware of the staff members.
I scan down the paper and my eyes lock onto a particular name as if drawn to it without my consent. A frown creases my brow when I see she’s scheduled to begin working the second floor next week. Having her closer isn’t a temptation I want, and yet I have the strongest desire to play with her, to see if I can get a reaction. She’s ignored me since the night I made her come on my hand and I don’t like it.
Scrubbing through her name, I replace it with one of the other bartenders and move her back to the first floor. If she wants this, she’ll have to come and ask me.
I hand the roster back to Harrison who looks it over, before raising his eyes to me.
“I promised her the second floor this week.”
“That was your mistake, not mine. She’s not ready and if she has a problem, she can come to see me about it.”
Harrison shakes his head. “What’s your problem with her?”
“I don’t have a problem. I just don’t think she’s right for the club.”
“Strongly disagree.”
My eyes wander over the bar, seeking her out and I scowl as I watch her laughing easily with the other staff. I know what she’s doing. She’s trying to tempt me and it won’t work. She had her chance, and she blew it. I offered her the world, and she threw it in my face without a second thought. Lottie will learn I don’t give second chances to anyone. You cross me once and once only, and then you’re dead to me.
Yet a tendril of desire snakes down my spine as I watch her, mixing with a doubt that I’ve never felt before. There’s a reason nobody crosses me. I don’t lose and that’s because I never second guess myself, yet since Lottie came barreling back into my life like a hurricane, I’ve felt seeds of doubt infiltrate my thoughts at every turn.
“If she has a problem, send her to me. I have no problem firing her if you haven’t got the backbone for it.”
“Fuck you, Lincoln. I have no problem doing my job, but I won’t sack a perfectly good member of staff just because you have a hard-on for her.”
I glance across at him with a hard glare. “Careful, Harrison.” Anger ripples through my body and I clench my hand around the glass I’m holding. I don’t want to fall out with my friend, but I won’t tolerate his tone.
He holds my stare, not backing down an inch. It’s why we’re friends. We’re the same, but it’s also why arguments are inevitable.
Finally, he breaks my gaze and flips the page on his clipboard, and I let out the breath I was holding.
“We have three sign-ups for the auction so far. I’m going to schedule it for the middle of June if that works for everyone. It gives me time to set up the promo and get some interest building with the members. I thought we could begin one girl a week working that floor as a waitress and then, the week before the auction, all the girls work it. Having them seen should get the juices flowing and the wallets nice and loose.”
“Fine by me. Send me pictures of all the girls when you have them.”
“Okay, well I’m going to break the news to your girl that she can’t work the second floor—yet, and then get started on the drinks orders.”
