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“Thank you.”
My hand won’t stop shaking as I hang up and reach behind me to untie my apron. “Joe, I’m sorry to do this to you but I have to go. Eric had a hypo at school. They’re taking him to Riverdale General.”
Joe waves his hand toward the door. “Go, go. We’ll manage.”
Grabbing my bag from behind the counter I rush toward the door, only stopping to go up on tip toes so I can kiss Joe’s weathered cheek. He’s so good to me. Gives me way more leeway than he should and I’m so damned grateful for him, I feel tears threaten behind my eyelids. “Thank you.”
Rushing out the door, I run toward the station and stop when I see a cab slow just in front of me and let someone out on the side of the street. I can’t afford it, but worry for Eric is snapping at my heels. I need to be with him, to hold his little hand and tell him it will be okay. I’m all he has in the world, and I won’t let him be alone for this a second longer than he needs to be. Making the snap decision I rush toward the yellow cab and dive into the back seat.
“Riverdale General, please.”
The cab driver looks me over and I can feel the judgment and censure as if he knows I can’t afford the fare and he’s right, I can’t. It will mean another night with no food for me, but I don’t care. Eric is all that matters to me.
“I have the cash.” I wave a handful of bills at him that I know I would’ve used to buy food, and he nods, hitting the gas and speeding us toward the hospital. I watch the spring rain fall outside, not realizing I’m soaked to the skin until this very second. A shiver runs through me, and I’m not sure if it’s from worry or cold.
Ever since my mom died and left me with the sole responsibility of my baby brother, I’ve been numb. It’s been three years and it still feels like it was yesterday that she was taken from us, leaving a void that I’ll never be able to fill, but I promised her I’d take care of Eric and that is what I’ll do.
The cab stops and I thrust the cash at the driver and jump out, running toward the entrance. Warm air hits me as I enter the reception area. The emergency department is packed, but I have one focus as I rush toward the desk, and that’s to get to Eric.
“Eric Miller, he was brought in by ambulance.” I try not to think of the cost or how I’ll pay the bills this time. I’m a hair’s breadth away from failing my dead mother and my brother. My throat clogs as the weight of responsibility almost cripples me, but a breakdown is something else I just can’t afford to have. Rolling my shoulders back, I wait impatiently for the woman to click her keyboard to locate my brother.
“Are you family?”
“Yes, I’m his sister and legal guardian.”
“Okay, Miss Miller. He’s been taken up to pediatrics, through the door on the left.”
I run, my wet feet squelching on the grey vinyl floor of the hospital as I head towards the lift. It closes as I get there, and I want to bang my fist on it in frustration. Looking around I spot the sign for the stairs and push through the door.
Taking them quickly I find myself on the pediatric floor and go through the same rigmarole as before, speaking to reception and finding my brother. When I spot his teacher I rush toward her, skidding to a stop and diverting my attention as Dr. Stanley steps out of the room.
“Ah, Violet, there you are.”
“How is he?”
The kindly doctor who’s been treating Eric since he was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes two years ago, smiles trying to reassure me. “Let’s go somewhere quiet and talk.”
Dread churns my stomach at his words, which can’t be anything good. “Okay. Can I see him for a second first?”
“Of course.”
Dr. Stanley pushes open the door and steps aside. I see my brother looking so small in the huge hospital bed, the white of the sheets almost the same pallor as his skin. His eyes are closed as I move closer and brush my fingers over his short dark hair. Heavy lids drift open and he gives me a smile. At nine, he’s small for his age and I worry that he’s not getting the nutrition he needs to grow. I try my best, but I’m failing him. Yet he still looks at me with love and devotion in his blue eyes.
“Hey, buddy.”
“Vi, I don’t feel so good.”
The churning of my stomach moves up my chest, lodging in my throat and choking me. I fight the tears of dread and worry and paste a reassuring smile on my face. This little boy means everything to me and seeing him sick wrecks me. “I know, buddy, but we’re going to get you all fixed up.”
I brush a kiss over his head, closing my eyes as I breathe in his scent. He’s home to me. He willalwaysbe home. I’m his protector now. I’ll fight until the body God gave me gives in before I’ll let him down again. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for him, not a single damn thing.
“I need to speak with Dr. Stanley. Why don’t you rest and I’ll be back in a few minutes to read to you.” The thought of reading Eric his favorite book makes me think ofhim, but I shut it down. I can’t afford to let him have a second of the softness I still feel inside me, because it will break what’s left of my heart by reminding me of who he was before.
“Okay, Vi.”
The tiny voice breaks me out of my stupor, and I smile again. This raucous little boy who is usually so full of energy is lethargic and exhausted from the hypo and it flays my skin to see him this way.
I step back into the hallway and see Miss Powell still waiting and feel awful for ignoring her. “Miss Powell, thank you so much for staying with him.”
