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My eyes shoot to her. “He did?”
“It was all very innocent. Yes, he hugged her, yes she kissed his cheek but there was no passion, and when he hacked his office cameras’ there was nothing to suggest this meeting was a tryst of any kind.”
“Why was she meeting him then?”
“There could be any number of reasons. A will to protect Eric. Financial advice, legal advice. All of them innocent and not a reason for you to blow your fucking top like you did.”
“But she hugged him.”
“So? Why didn’t you come home and speak to her, ask her about it?”
I look down at my half-empty mug, the coffee suddenly souring in my stomach. “She left me.”
“I know. I saw the rings on the counter. I take it you confronted her?”
“I brought a woman back here.”
“For fuck’s sake, Lincoln, what the hell were you thinking?”
“I didn’t fuck her and I wasn’t thinking. I was reacting.”
“I’m not sure that makes it better at this point. What did you say to her?”
“I called her a whore, said she sold herself like a common whore only she charged more.”
Audrey is glaring at me, and I can feel her anger directed at me. “Why would you be so cruel?”
“I paid her to marry me. To get my father out of Kennedy and because Lottie was drowning in debt.”
“Is that the real reason?”
I should have known my cousin would see straight through me. “I never stopped loving her and I think in the back of my mind I thought if I could just get some time with her and show her what we could have, she’d love me back.”
“And did it work?”
“I love her, so damn much, and last night she told me I broke us. That she loved me, and we could’ve had a beautiful life and I threw it away. And she was right, we did have a beautiful life. For those few short months my life was perfect. She made everything better, she made me want to come home at night. She gave me a reason, she was my reason, and I was a fucking asshole. I would kill any other man for speaking to her like I did, for hurting her and she was so dignified. She didn’t scream or shout she just took the barbs I threw at her and she fucking left.”
I let my head fall in my hands as a sob escapes my chest and I try to hold it back the pain of my own making. The enormity of what I’ve done hits me. Tears hit my cheeks and I feel like bawling like a newborn over the loss that is so huge it feels like I’ll never recover.
“Oh, Lincoln. Why are men such idiots?”
I sniff and wipe my wet eyes on the edge of my shirt. “I fucked up.”
Audrey smirks. “Ya think?”
“What am I going to do?”
“What do you want to do, Lincoln? Do you want her back? Because I gotta say if it was me, you’d have an uphill battle after that shit show. Or you could cut your losses and let it go and move on.”
“No.” The denial is out of my mouth so fast as I jump to my feet. “No. I’m not letting her go without her letting me explain. I love her, Audrey. She’s everything to me. I feel like I can’t breathe without her.”
Audrey stands and grips my arm. “She doesn’t owe you a chance to explain, Lincoln, and she may not give it either.” I know she’s right, and hell, I don’t deserve it either but I’m selfish, and want it anyway.
“She has to, I love her.”
“Shame you didn’t figure this shit out before you blew up your world.”
I glare at her. “Are you going to help me or are you going to keep telling me what an asshole I’ve been?”
