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“He did and I don’t blame him. She’s this amazing woman but what I didn’t count on was the attraction between us. Beck is larger than life, he has this magnetism, this presence, and we all ended up in a relationship. The three of us.”
“So you’re bi-sexual?”
“I am and for a long time I hid that part of myself over the fear of how I’d be perceived.”
“So why now? Why tell the world your story?”
“Because I wronged the two people I love the most in the world. I fell in love with Amelia and Beck. They loved me back but I was a coward. I asked them to hide what we were and they agreed because they loved me. When it came out, I let them hang. I let them take all the vile, disgusting insults and I didn’t defend them or tell the world how amazing they were. How they’d changed my life and gave me unconditional love and acceptance. Not just them, our friends and family too.”
“So you weren’t the victim the media thought you were?”
“No, they were. All they ever did was love me and I repaid that love with betrayal.”
“We all make mistakes though, right?”
Amelia is silently sobbing next to me and I can barely keep it together as people look at us, but I only have eyes for Xander, who’s putting everything on the line to make things right with us. “We do, but mine hurt the people I love.”
“So, not just a fling? It was serious between you three?”
“They are without doubt the loves of my life.”
Molly Sanders smiles and looks out into the audience, her eyes finding us. “Is there anything you’d like to say to them?”
Xander turns his big body and leans forward as if he’s talking to the camera but really, he’s talking to us.
“I’m so sorry for the way I treated you both. I was a coward. I was weak and I didn’t treat either of you with the love you deserved or offered me.”
I can see sweat dripping down his temple and lean forward, getting a closer look at his pale skin. Something isn’t right. He doesn’t look well.
“I love you both and hope that one day—”
He clutches his left arm and stiffens before collapsing to the floor. I’m on my feet and running toward him as Amelia screams beside me at the sight of his still body.
“Call 911, now. He’s having a heart attack. Stay with me, Xander.”
I tear at his clothes and position him on his back as Amelia falls to her knees and clutches his hand, tears falling down her anguished cheeks.
I begin CPR, silently praying to God not to take him from us.
I will not lose him.
“Don’t let him die, Beck. Please, you have to save him.”
I hear the pleas of the woman I love, and they echo my own as I ignore everyone around me and work on keeping the man I love alive. I don’t know how long I perform CPR. It could be minutes or hours. Time blurs, my sole focus is to keep blood pumping through his body. People are moving around us. Paramedics rush in and I’m shoved out of the way as they use a defibrillator on him.
I pull Amelia out of the way as she tries to hold on to him. “Let them work, baby.”
I hold her in my arms as she sobs, both of us looking on as they shock him. I wait for the screen to say he has a pulse but there’s nothing and my belly rolls.
They perform it three more times with the same outcome and I’m barely hanging on by a thread.
“Shock him again.” The paramedic looks at me with sympathy and I want to kill her for daring to give up on him. “Fine, I’ll do it.”
I push her out of the way and charge it again. “Come on, you stubborn bastard, live. Don’t you dare fucking leave us after that speech.”
I shock him again and wait a split second and then there’s movement. “We have a rhythm.”
My shoulders sag as the paramedics move into action getting him onto a gurney and into the rig. I hold tight to Amelia, my eyes not leaving Xander as we follow behind. “We’re coming with you.”
