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Xander seems relaxed as he gives her that truth and I almost puff up with pride for him admitting that. It’s a big step for an addict to speak about it to someone he doesn’t know well. Even more so for someone like him, who has the weight of the world watching and waiting for him to fuck up. I know it’s why he uses the club.
The bottle clinks against the glass and wine spills onto the counter.
“Shit, I had no idea.”
She moves to put the wine away and Xander steps closer, his arm brushing over my chest as he stops her, and I hiss a breath, making him look at me and smirk.
Cocky bastard.
“It’s fine. Alcohol isn’t a trigger for me.”
“Oh. Are you sure because we don’t mind, do we, Beck?” She looks at me with confidence that in this instance I’d do the right thing and it pleases me.
“Of course not.”
“Thanks, but really, go ahead. I’m happy with water or soda.”
Amelia nods as she pours him a soda water from the fridge. “So, I thought you were drinking at the auction the other night.”
Xander blushes. “It’s a prop. That was actually water too. I get too many questions if people think I’m not drinking. It’s easier to just pretend.”
I hate that for him, but it’s not my business. I should go and leave these two love birds alone but I can’t seem to get the message to my feet.
We stand in awkward silence for a second, nobody speaking and I force myself to move out of the kitchen area and give them some space, but Amelia moves at the same time.
“I just need to use the ladies a second. That wine is going straight through me.” She blushes as she takes off to her room, leaving Xander and me alone.
I feel him behind me as he steps into the living area, his eyes moving to the couch where our movie nest of quilts and pillows is set up. I follow his gaze and wonder what he makes of it.
“Is this going to be a problem? Me and Amelia being together?”
His words slash at my insides better than the sharpest scalpel, leaving me feeling like I’m bleeding out in front of him. God, why does that simple sentence almost eviscerate me? Because if she is with him it means any chance of me and Amelia is gone. Not that there was one to begin with. I react like a prick and turn on him, stalking closer until only a breath separates us.
One deep breath and he’d be touching me, but I stand with my body rigid and force my cool gaze on him. Little flecks of gray shimmer in his blue eyes, long lashes sweeping down over high cheekbones. He truly is magnificent with full lips that I know the feel of, twitching up.
“What makes you think I won’t tell her how you sucked my cock just days ago and came all over my hand crying my name?”
It’s cruel to remind him and I’d never hurt Amelia or him like that, but pain is making me react this way. It feels like everything in my life is changing. Everyone I love is moving on and finding someone and I’m stuck in this pit of misery loving someone I can never have.
Xander huffs out a breath, the minty scent feathering my face with warmth.
“You’d never hurt her like that.”
“You don’t know me.”
He cocks his head and gasps as I grab his throat in my hand, his pulse battering wildly against my fingers. I drag him closer until his lips are almost on mine, feeling the shudder wrack through his body. My dick is like a battering ram in my denim jeans as his hands skim my hips, not to push me away but to drag me closer.
Two males fighting for dominance, fighting animal lust, and neither willing to give an inch. My thumb strokes over his throat and I have the urge to bite his full bottom lip, to drag it between my teeth until blood blooms.
“Do it,” he growls, rocking his cock against mine.
It’s like he can read my mind as we both lean in, our lips barely touching and heat radiating through us as he closes his eyes and sighs.
A gasp has us jumping apart like scalded cats as we both turn to see Amelia standing in the doorway of the hall leading to her bedroom watching us. Her eyes are bright with shock, and her lips open on a shocked gasp.
“Fuck.”
11: Amelia
