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He has been my rock through this, and I think I forgot somewhere along the line that he is hurting too. He does such an amazing job of fixing people that it’s easy to forget.
“Oh my God, I’ve been such a bad girlfriend. I’ve totally ignored his feelings.” Tears spring to my eyes and Lottie glares at Audrey.
“See what you did?”
“She needed to hear it.” Audrey looks at me. “And you’re not a bad girlfriend. Beck is a Dom. Taking care of you brings him pleasure and is his way of handling things. But you need to make sure he knows that you love him, that he hasn’t slipped back into that role of best friend. That would kill him, but he’d do it for you.”
“Heismy best friend.”
“Is that all he is? Have you guys been intimate since Xander?”
“No, he’s everything to me. I’ve never felt so sexy or cherished as Beck makes me feel. With him, it’s natural and I get butterflies in my belly when I see him now. One look and I want to rip his clothes off and do wicked things to him.”
“And have you?”
“No.” I drop my head as I try and figure out why.
“Why not?”
“Well, he hasn’t tried to fuck me for a start.”
“He’s probably trying to be respectful.”
“It’s also tied up with Xander. It feels wrong to be with Beck when Xander is all alone.”
Lottie munches on a pretzel as she looks at me. “That’s his choice. If he decides it’s over for good, are you and Beck done?”
I think he already decided that and, honestly, I don’t think I could go back to what we had before anyway. Beck and I deserve more. Lottie is waiting patiently for me to answer as Audrey picks at the red Skittles in the bowl before us. She’s so weird, she only eats red candy because according to her, it tastes better.
“I’ll never be done with Beck. He’s the love of my life, always has been. The problem is, so was Xander, and it’s held me back from moving on with Beck.”
“I can’t imagine not having Linc in my life. He was a dick to me at first as you all know, but now he treats me like a queen.”
“Yeah, yeah, we get it. My cousin is a hero. What has that got to do with Amelia?”
“I’m just saying that it would be a mistake to walk away from Beck because Xander can’t or won’t commit to you both. Don’t throw away what you have because I’ve lived that life and it’s empty.”
“Okay, good point.”
Audrey nods in approval and I laugh. It feels good to be with my girls again. I’ve missed this, having them as a sounding board. “So, I should go home and ride Beck like a cowgirl?”
“A cowgirl in heat.”
I laugh and clink my glass of wine to Lottie. “Yes.”
That decided, I enjoy the night with my friends, anticipation warming my body from the deep freeze it’s been in for weeks.
“So, Norrie flew to L.A.”
Lottie nods at my statement. “She did, in her words, to kick some sense into her stubborn, mule-headed brother.”
I laugh at the image but have no doubt, she’ll do it.
“Yeah, but did you hear she took Hudson with her?”
Audrey’s lip curls as Lottie mentions Hudson. “Why?”
“Not sure, but I gather it’s something to do with his contracts.”
