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“That’s all I’ve got,” he said with sincerity in his eyes. “Go out with me tonight.”
“People might see us together,” I challenged.
“So? Let them.”
* * *
New Hampshire’s scenery blurred by as Seren took back roads through neighborhoods where each home was more breathtaking than the last. The close quarters in Seren’s Land Rover overwhelmed my senses. His expensive cologne mixed with new-car smell filled the car, and the ease in which he drove with one hand resting on the steering wheel like the car drove itself was a sight to behold.
“Rap, huh?” I said, referencing the music playing in the car.
His eyes cut to mine. “Not a fan?”
I shrugged. “It’s fine.”
“What do you like?”
“Rock.”
He reached for his phone and found rock music. Actions. He was giving me actions. And the butterflies fluttering deep in my stomach liked that.
Seren stopped at Brennan’s Ice Cream Shop in the next town. I wondered if he purposely avoided Windham so no one would see us. He jumped out after asking what I wanted and returned with a chocolate shake for me and a cone of rocky road for himself. He drove as we enjoyed our ice cream, eventually stopping at the same mountain overlook I’d been stopping at after school.
He parked his car and cut the lights. Darkness surrounded us. I thought we’d sit inside since the darkness concealed the scenery, but he opened his door and stepped out. “Come on,” he said before closing his door. I joined him in front of the car as he hopped up onto the hood. He offered me his hand, which I grabbed, and he pulled me up with his strong grasp until I was beside him. We both lay back against the windshield at the same time. The stars and full moon illuminated the otherwise dark night. Seren’s car had been the only one I’d seen for miles, and I liked knowing we had the spot to ourselves.
“Sometimes I wonder if I really want to leave New England,” he mused with his eyes focused on the star-speckled sky. “I think I take it for granted.”
“New England?” I asked.
“Everything.”
I let his words settle, wondering if I did the same. I’d certainly taken Coopersville for granted. And now that it was snatched away from me, I longed for the familiarity that filled me with so much happiness. “Why do you think you do that?”
I could feel his shrugging shoulder rub against my arm. “Because my life sucks.”
“Doesn’t everyone’s?”
“I don’t think so,” he said. “I think there are people out there who get through life without shitty things happening to them.”
My head fell to the side, and I took in his profile as he continued staring at the stars. “We all lose people we love. No one’s immune to it.”
“I think my mother killed my father.”
Shock swept over me. “What?”
“He was healthy one minute then gone the next.”
“Heart attacks come out of nowhere,” I assured him.
He shook his head. “I thought the same thing until Martine started spending time at the manor. He was my dad’s business partner and stepped in to take care of everything for my mother since she was apparently on the verge of a breakdown. I was fifteen, but I still found it strange that I never saw her cry. Not once. I could see her wanting to stay strong for me and my brothers, but she showed nothing. There was no breakdown. There was no mourning. There was no mention of my father after he died. It was like he never even existed.”
“People handle death differently,” I said, not knowing what else to say when I wanted to say, ‘That doesn’t really prove she killed him.’
“I think she was fucking Martine while my father was alive.” He turned his head to look at me. “That’s why she did it. She wanted Martine to replace my father. I’m just not sure if she slipped him something or she told him the truth and it literally broke his fucking heart.”
I said nothing, realizing he truly believed his mother killed his father. I knew firsthand that grieving people always tried to find a reason for death. I did the same thing when my father was first diagnosed. I blamed everyone, from doctors for not treating him fast enough to my mother for being gone so much and not catching it sooner.
“There wasn’t even an autopsy.” Seren’s words pulled me back. “My mother claimed we wouldn’t have been able to have an open casket at the wake. But normal people would’ve wanted to be sure of the cause of death. Anyone who knew my dad knew he went to his doctor religiously and worked out like a fiend.” Seren sat up, his elbows resting on his thighs as he wrung his hands in front of him. “The only plausible reason for not having the autopsy was because my mother already knew what killed him. She just didn’t want anyone else to know.”
