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I put Koby in his bed and tucked him in. No story. No hugs and wishes for the world to be at peace. He was already out cold.
When I turned, Justice was gone.
I sighed and straightened the bathroom and drained the water.
It was time for a long talk with Koby’s dads.
“Hey,” I said, walking into the kitchen. They had just finished cleaning up after dinner and complimented me on the chicken piccata. “Should we sit and talk? Anyone want tea?”
They both declined, but I took my time making a cup of warm chamomile with extra honey.
Both of them looked down when I took a seat across from them. “How long has he been shifting?”
Justice spoke up. “Since he turned one. Very early for a panda.”
“Very early for any shifter,” I commented. Panthers were early shifters but the general age was twelve or so, on the verge of puberty. “But that’s not really the issue, is it? He’s a gifted shifter.”
“I’m sorry we didn’t tell you,” Sloan blurted, squirming in his chair.
“This goes beyond sorry, Sloan. He shifted in a park with humans all around. You put us in danger. People have cell phones. Video. Pictures. Thank the goddess, I had extra clothes with me. Did you not think about the consequences of your lie of omission? I’m sure you don’t care about the consequences for me. I’m a virtual stranger to you, but your son? I…can’t.” I covered my face with my hands and groaned.
Both males were silent.
They were smart. Honestly, nothing they said at that moment would’ve made up for this debacle.
For all their schedules and obsession with things being a certain way, they sure were flagrant with the safety of their cub. And I told them so.
“For what it’s worth, we are sorry, Livvy.” I rejected the feelings that Justice saying my name conjured.
“Both of us. We apologize. There’s no excuse.”
I swallowed and finished my tea and put the cup in the dishwasher. They had apologized but I needed to vent. “He was in a tunnel, hiding. If he hadn’t been. If he had shifted in front of those uptight, snooty humans…I don’t even want to imagine what would’ve happened. The poor guy. Koby, he…” My voice cracked as I fought against tears. “You know what he said to me? When I found him?”
They both shook their heads. The drowning scent of shame and guilt blanketed the room.
“He said,Sorry, Livvy. Sorry. He’s experiencing shame for who he is, and this part of him that is supposed to feel like a fucking gift from the goddess. Sorry for the language, but it’s true. He’s supposed to be proud of being a shifter—with limitations, of course, but no one should be ashamed of who they are. I was scared today. Scared for your child. Terrified out of my mind.”
I knew that shame well. I was ashamed of who I had been with Jason. What I had allowed and been too foolish to see.
Justice began to speak, but I put my hand up. “I’m going to bed.”
Sloan opened his mouth, too, but I wasn’t having his crap, either.
“For all your intricate outlines about schedules and organic foods and natural toys…never mind. Good night.”
Chapter Thirteen
Justice
We’d done our best to make up for being buttheads on Livvy’s first day of taking care of Koby, but she hadn’t seemed to respond to our pathetic attempts. And yes, they were indeed pathetic because we didn’t know her well enough to fix anything. Livvy continued to take care of Koby, and she seemed to have an understanding with him we had never managed to achieve.
Although they didn’t go to the park again, Livvy had been taking him into the front yard to play games or on short walks around the neighborhood and was helping him learn not to shift without intention. Or with intention where he might be seen by those who could cause us problems in the long run.
Yesterday afternoon, when I got home, I found them sitting on the front porch. Livvy had a drawing pad and pen, Koby was talking a mile a minute and waving his arms, and when I got close enough to hear their conversation, I paused with some shrubbery screening me from them. “Slow down, Koby,” she said. “I can’t keep up with you.”
“I’m the fastest!” he chortled, but he did stop talking for a moment, leaning close to watch whatever she was doing on the pad.
After a moment, she stopped and looked at him. “Now, tell me what is happening in this picture.”
