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Below that was a picture of a fierce-looking cougar next to a head shot of an older White woman. The pictures were followed by wild animal safety tips, one of which was—please don’t mess with the wildlife.
“Eight thousand views?” Martin said. “Holy cow.”
He wanted to know who the woman was; glancing up from the phone, he caught Magnus’s smirk.
Critter nodded. “We’re kind of in a feud with the National Park Service. They think they’re so funny. But they’re not.” He pointed his thumb at his chest. “We’re the funny ones.”
“Huh,” said Martin. Realizing he sounded a lot like Simon, he added, “that’s… great. I didn’t know we had cougars here.”
Rufus snorted and Magnus guffawed.
“Not down here, of course,” Critter agreed. “They tend to live higher up. But sometimes, if they’re hungry, they’ll come down for a meal.”
“Um, wondering. Who’s the woman?” And did Critter have her permission to make fun of her?
“My older sister.”
Magnus and Rufus snorted in tandem. Martin eyed the Forest Service officer; did he have a death wish? Critter wasn’t paying attention to their reactions because he was too busy refreshing his feed, presumably to see how many new likes and shares he had.
“I think,” Magnus said, breaking the silence, “that Critter is getting back at Lael for something she did to him when he was eight.”
“I’m not!” Critter protested. “This stuff is funny.” He checked the post again. “We’re getting tons of likes. We’re going to be famous.”
“Famous for being ax-murdered by your sister,” Magnus said.
“Lael won’t see it. She’s never on social media.”
Magnus and Rufus both gave Critter looks that told Martin that Critter was probably very wrong about his sister’s social media habits.
“She is going to kill you when she finds out.” Magnus shook his head. “I went to school at the same time as Lael. She was a few years ahead of me,” he said to Martin. “Lael was a person you didn’t cross.”
“Try living in the same house with her,” Critter muttered. “I was never happier than when she graduated and went off to college.”
Magnus nodded, apparently in agreement with Critter.
“Where does she live?” Martin asked. Maybe she didn’t live in Cooper Springs.
“Over by the mansion, thereabouts,” Critter said, staring at his phone again.
Rufus sat back, crossing his arms over his chest. “You are an idiot. Did Mags sign off on this one?”
“Nah, she said I should just run with it.”
“I don’t think she meant like this,” Magnus muttered. “This here is more of a ‘how fast can you run away’ situation.”
The front door burst open. Martin twisted around and watched as an older person stumbled inside. He’d sort of expected to see Critter’s sister, but all Martin was certain of was that the newcomer was a human senior citizen. They had Einstein-gray hair, which appeared to have been ravaged by the wind and rain into a standing tornado. Their clothes were baggy and ultimately shapeless, making it impossible for Martin to even hazard a guess.
“I saw him. Rufus,I saw him.” The voice was raspy, like they had a ten-pack-a-day habit.
Rufus was immediately on his feet, his expression gleeful. Critter and his tweets, forgotten.
“You did? Come, have a seat and tell me all about it.”
Martin wondered who Rufus and the stranger were referring to. They’d saidheso all he knew was it hadn’t been Critter’s older sister.
“Magnus, a lemonade, please,” Rufus called to his son.
With an infinitesimal shake of the head, Magnus bent down to open the undercounter fridge. Out the side of his mouth, he muttered, “Sasquatch,” clearing up Martin’s confusion.
