AllFreeNovel
Share Us
She’s already shaking her head before the words fully leave my lips. “No. It should have been me who was taken. I didn’t save them. I tried, but I couldn’t do what they wanted. I wasn’t strong enough.”
Her face crumples into a mask of profound pain. For so many years, my beautiful Cat has suffered through things she should never have endured. Her experience was so horrific, it would have driven anyone insane. Guilt, no matter how many times and ways myself, our families, and her doctor have told her she shouldn’t feel, consumes her. It is the same guilt that rests squarely on my shoulders.Icouldn’t save our children.Iwasn’t there to protect them. It wasmyjob, andIfailed. Not only our beautiful children, but also my wife.
My grip tightens around her waist. “No one could have made that decision. No one, Cat. What they asked of you was evil and wrong. You are not to blame for any of it.”
She sniffles, her teary eyes meeting mine. “Like you don’t blame yourself?” My jaw clenches, but I hold her gaze. “You aren’t to blame either, Hunter.”
This is something we will never agree on. I will never stop blaming myself for Eli and Ryder’s deaths. The most important job in my life is to protect and care for my family, and I did neither.
Cat switches the silk material to her other hand and lays her palm against my cheek. Her thumb swipes away a tear.
“You tell me not to blame myself, but you ignore the fact that you aren’t to blame either.”
I say nothing, because what she’s claiming is simply not true. There is nothing anyone could say to make me believe otherwise.
“Come shower with me,” I say instead, needing the focus off me. What I feel for my part in losing our precious children is deserved. What Cat feels is not.
After a moment of her staring at me like she wants to say more, she nods. As she approaches the bed, she brings the silk material up to her nose and inhales deeply. She then places it on top of the pillow where it usually lays. Years have passed since we lost Eli and Ryder, but their bedrooms remain the same. Even the notebook Eli was using for her English assignment sits on her desk, open to the last page she was writing on.
A heavy weight settles in my chest as we leave our daughter’s room and make our way to Ryder’s. I stay right behind Cat as she walks to his bed. She places a kiss on top of the alligator before she sets it down on the pillow. After the first year, I suggested that we pack up their belongings. Cat about lost her mind, and I haven’t suggested it since. Eventually we will, but only when she’s ready.
With Cat’s hand in mine, I lead her to our bathroom. It feels wrong to shower and wash Scarlett’s scent off my body while Cat is with me. But I can’t bear the thought of leaving her alone right now. She needs me just as much as I need her.
I turn the shower on to warm up. Before I can strip either of us, Cat walks to me and wraps her arms around my waist, burying her face against my chest. I hold her for several minutes, loving the feeling of her in my arms. It’s my favorite place for her to be.
She sniffs then pulls her head back, her eyes on my chest. A frown wrinkles her brow, and I tense, fearing she might smell Scarlett on me. But after a moment, she blinks and the frown smooths out. I wait another moment, hoping and praying she doesn’t ask me questions I have no way of answering.
When she doesn’t, I grab the hem of her shirt and pull it over her head, exposing her yellow lace bra. Next, I reach behind her to unsnap it. The straps on her shoulders loosen, and I pull them down her arms. The sight of her beautiful breasts is enough to make my mouth water.
“How was work?” she asks after I’ve stripped off my own shirt. “Did you get the issue you were having with an employee taken care of?”
My hands pause as they reach for the snap on Cat’s jeans. A problem at work was my excuse for being out so late.
While I continue to work on Cat’s jeans, I lift my eyes to her, gauging her expression for anything I should be concerned about. Does she suspect anything? Did she smell Scarlett after all and is now fishing for answers?
Fortunately, I don’t sense a hidden meaning behind her question. She looks genuinely curious, and not in a suspicious way.
Slipping my fingers under the waistband of her jeans and panties, I squat in front of her as I slide them down her legs. “Yes. We took care of the problem.”
Cat’s fingers sift through my hair while I help her the rest of the way out of her jeans. “Sometimes you work too hard.”
I grunt, dropping my eyes to concentrate on my task. As I stand, I run my hands up the sides of her legs.
Cat stands before me, completely naked. My cock, which is currently being strangled in my pants, jerks at the stunning view. Toned legs and a flat stomach with curvy hips. Stretch marks line her lower stomach; the only visible evidence that she carried the two children we lost. Her breasts are full with hard, deep-red nipples.
She’s simply the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met.
Her eyes drop to my hands, which are working on my own pants. Once my cock is free and my slacks are shoved away, her tongue darts out to swipe across the seam of her lips. Like she’s picturing taking my cock in her mouth.
She moves forward, reaching for me, but I catch her by the waist and lift her into the shower. I immediately move us under the water. I need to wash away any traces of Scarlett before I allow Cat to touch me. What I’m doing is depraved enough. The least I can do is clean myself before taking my wife.
“I want to touch you,” she says in a low, needy voice.
All signs of the intense moments we spent in Eli and Ryder’s bedrooms are gone. Her mind has already shut them out again. Not because of our current situation, but because she hides their memories. For months, even years, at a time, it’s like they never existed. It’s what she needs to cope, so it’s what I give her.
Before she can reach for me again, I turn her around and press her back against my chest. “In a minute. Let me wash you first.” I reach for the sponge and soap on the shelf and pour on a generous amount. Creating a lather, I run it over her body, paying attention to her breasts since I know she likes it.
Next, I run the soapy sponge over her ass and down her legs. On my way back up, I take extra care between her legs. Ordinarily, I would take even more time cleaning her, building her arousal to a feverish pitch, but tonight I’m impatient to have her tight pussy surrounding my cock, and I still have to wash myself.
