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His eyes turn haunted, as if the thought of causing me pain causeshimpain.
“I gave her what she wanted, what she needed.” His eyes lift, and the color transforms from a sea green to a hunter green. I swallow at the intense look. “Because I would do anything to ease your pain. There’s not a single fucking thing, Cat, that I wouldn’t do for you, even if it tears me up inside while I do it.”
“Hunter,” I whisper his name, my voice turning hoarse from holding back tears. “I’m sorry I put you through all this.”
He cups my cheeks, sliding his fingers through my hair and leaving his thumbs on my cheeks. The muscles in his jaw work as his eyes bore into me.
“If I never hear those words leave your lips again, it’ll be too soon. I would deal with a thousand personalities for you, baby. I love Scarlett, Athena, and Presley just as strongly as I love you, because they are a part of you. They’re now a part of me.”
My head falls forward and my forehead thumps against his shoulder. I sniff, trying to hold back the tears, wanting to be strong for him. Lord knows this whole thing couldn’t have been easy. I can’t imagine being in his position. Being with him and him not knowing who I was. It would break me in ways I’m not sure I could ever recover from.
“Hey.” He lifts my head until I’m looking at him. “I love you.”
I smile and my heart turns to mush at the tender way he says it. “I love you.”
Pulling my head toward him, he presses the softest of kisses against my lips. As I close my eyes, an image of him looming over me in the dark flashes behind my eyelids. It’s so brief, I’m not sure if I actually saw it or if the vision was even real. However, something whispers in the back of my mind that says itwasreal. But it wasn’t a moment Hunter and I shared. Technically, it was, but I wasn’t myself. I was Scarlett.
The searing heat of jealousy flares inside me, which is stupid. It’s not like Scarlett is a different person. It was my body that felt the pleasure she sought. I just didn’t have control at the time and have no memories of it.
Even knowing this doesn’t take away the green evilness of envy. Scarlett’s experienced a part of Hunter that I never have. He’s given her something he’s never given me. I thought I knew all sides of Hunter, and while under normal circumstances he may not like that dark part of himself, he still had to have enjoyed it in some way.
Pulling my lips from his, I keep my head lowered so I can only see him through my eyelashes. I’m not sure I can look at him directly when I ask my next question.
“Did you like it?” My voice is small. “I mean, the things you did to Scarlett. Did you enjoy it?”
The muscle in his temple pulses and his lips form a straight line. He doesn’t like the question any more than I liked asking it. But it’s something I need to know.
He’s so quiet that I worry he won’t answer.
“You have to understand, Cat. All I saw when I looked at Scarlett was you. I only have to think of your name and my body reacts. You may have acted differently than my sweet Cat, but you were still the same. I knew you were hurting, and I understood what you needed to help with that pain. I hated every moment of it, because you had already suffered enough, and I hated adding to it.” He pauses for a moment, gathering his thoughts before he continues, his voice like gravel. “But there were some parts I did enjoy. Not because it hurt you, but because it felt physically good.”
I tug my bottom lip between my teeth. “Tell me some of the things you did.”
“Baby, I don’t think—”
I cut him off by pressing a finger against his lips. “I want to know. Please?”
Again, he’s so quiet that I fear he won’t tell me.
He blows out a sharp breath before he starts. “She liked to be taken hard in the ass,” he says, and something tells me that’s one of the things he said felt physically good. Hunter and I have had sex in many different ways, in many different positions, and in almost all of the rooms in the house. We’ve experimented, tested our limits, but anal is something we haven’t done yet. Not because I haven’t wanted to, but because Hunter has never shown interest. Based on the brief flash of pleasure I just saw, it’s something he has definitely been interested in. I store that knowledge away.
I stay quiet so he can continue.
“She wouldn’t let me use any lube. She wanted me to take her brutally and raw so it would hurt. Most of the time, I gave her no choice but to let me inside her pussy first.” This time I can’t hold back my flinch. He grabs my hand and lays it flat on his chest. His heart beats steadily beneath my palm, calming my nerves like usual. “I needed to take her that way to coat me before I took her the way she wanted. She didn’t like it, but I gave her no choice.”
“What else?”
It’s torture to hear this, but I’m fascinated and curious to learn more. I need to know all aspects of Hunter’s relationship with Scarlett.
Before he continues, he grabs my waist and pulls me further up his lap. I sit right over his cock, and if I am not mistaken, he’s somewhat hard. To be honest, I’d be lying if I said a tiny part of me wasn’t turned on myself.
He blows out a frustrated breath. “I’d use a whip on her,” he says quietly, and I suck in a breath. “She liked to bleed.”
I’m sure my expression shifts to horror. It’s evident from his expression that this part of their relationship is one he didnotenjoy.
“That can’t have been easy for you.”
He nods jerkily. “It isn’t, but it’s what you need. My own feelings don’t factor in.”
