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He kisses my sternum, staring up at me. “I didn’t date in high school and only got my first semi-serious girlfriend during my fifth year of university. Her name was Regan, and she wanted to move faster than I was ready to back then. I didn’t start taking dating seriously until I graduated, but nothing really stuck.”
“Why did nothing stick? Just wasn’t the right person?”
“You could say that. I think there was always also this prick in the back of my mind reminding me to be careful of who I let into my life. My parents are on great terms now, but there was a time when they weren’t, and it was hard on everyone. I wasn’t old enough to witness it, but I’ve learned about it all over the years. I’m not sure if your parents ever told you about their past with my mom?”
“Briefly,” I murmur. From what I remember, it wasn’t great. Nobody speaks of the past much, though.
“My mom and dad had a fling back in university. Your mom and mine never got along back then, so nobody really understood why Dad was with her. It surprised everyone to see them together, but their fling didn’t last long before Mom up and left without a word. Three years later, Dad found out she was pregnant with me when she disappeared and, shortly after I was born, was diagnosed with bipolar disorder.
“When I was two, she brought me to him and asked him to take care of me. My dad, being the man he is, took me in without hesitation, and then she was gone again. She booked herself into a psychiatric hospital, and by the time she came back, I was old enough to begin wondering where my mom was and why she didn’t want me anymore.”
He clears his throat, grip on me tightening. “Once she left the hospital, she gave sole custody of me to my dad and worked to get back on her feet. My mom is incredibly resilient and worked hard to put her life back together before coming back for me. It was challenging having her pop back into my life, especially because I was so young and held such resentment toward her leaving in the first place, but we all learned how to make it work together, and she’s been here ever since.”
The strain in his voice makes me pull him tighter against me, wishing we were in a bed instead of on the couch. “I hope you don’t think you’re responsible for her illness.”
His sigh is heavy. “I try not to, but how am I supposed to ignore that I’m the reason she struggled so badly? If she hadn’t gotten pregnant, things could have been so different for her. We’ll never know now.”
“What were you supposed to do? You weren’t asked to come into the world. That responsibility does not fall on you.”
“I know. Mom’s told me that more times than I can count. I’ve just always had a hard time not feeling responsible for things like that. I want everyone to be happy all the time. Especially those I care about.”
“And we love that about you. But we want you to be happy too. Putting your feelings aside in order to please everyone else isn’t fair to yourself.”
Shifting, he scoops me into his arms and turns us on our sides. The couch is far from comfortable beneath me, but I can’t find it in me to care right now. Not as he buries his face in my hair and exhales a long breath that sends shivers down my spine.
“I’ll work on it. I’m already happier. You help with that.”
“Maybe you need me to start pinching your ass whenever you try to be a people pleaser.”
“Considering your obsession with my ass, I think you’d like that a little too much.”
I gasp dramatically. “How do you know about that?”
“I’m not blind.”
I scoff. “Well, it’s not my fault you’re so hot.”
“I like that you like how I look, Addie. Stare at my ass as much as you want,” he says, smoothing his hand over my stomach. “Now, enough about me. Tell me about all of the guys that came before me.”
A laugh bubbles up my throat, but I swallow it down. “There’s not much to tell. I’m far from a virgin, but I haven’t been in a relationship serious enough to matter. Most of the guys I’ve been with I’ve met either through work or Ivy, and they weren’t interested in more than a booty call here or there.”
“I should tell you that I’m sorry you’ve had such bad luck, but I’m grateful for the lack of competition. I haven’t thrown a punch in years.”
This time, I let my laugh spill out. “I can’t imagine you punching anyone. My brother was always the one doing that.”
“I’ve never hit anyone before. It was a punching bag,” he admits, almost sheepishly.
“I can’t imagine you doing that either. Let me guess, Maddox talked you into it?”
He hums in confirmation. “I never took to it. He still trains with a bag sometimes, I think.”
“I’m sure he printed off a picture of your face and taped it on one after he found out about us.”
“Without a doubt. At least until Braxton found it and tore it off.”
“And she would do exactly that. She loves me too much to let him destroy your pretty face. Picture or the real thing.”
“We’ll have to thank her the next time we’re together.”
