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‘It’s a line of enquiry. Would we be able to have a word with Sasha, now?’ Steen asks.
‘Absolutely.’ Olly can’t help feeling relieved this is over. ‘We’re done, then,’ he says, getting up. Jen half rises from her seat but sits back down when Steen doesn’t move. ‘Oh, you mean in here?’ he says.
‘If you don’t mind.’
Olly does mind, he minds a lot, but he says, ‘Of course.’
He finds Sasha in the kitchen, her laptop open in front of her. Kitty is at the range.
‘Could we have a moment, please,’ he asks.
‘I’m so sorry I let them in,’ she says. ‘They were insistent.’
Olly holds up a palm. ‘Not now. Thank you.’
Kitty’s head is bowed as she goes. Olly shuts the door behind her.
‘Was it bad?’ Sasha asks him.
‘No. Maybe. They want to talk to you.’
‘Maybe? What do you mean?’
‘I mean I think it was fine.’
‘You “think”?’ she hisses. ‘That’s not good enough. You didn’t fuck it up, did you?’
‘No, I didn’t, and make sure you don’t either.’
He grabs her wrist, not wanting to hurt her, but to convince her that they’re together in this. She pulls her arm out of his grip and he moves to the door and watches her walk all the way down the corridor towards his study. She stops before she enters, facing the closed door, as if gathering herself. She looks back at Olly briefly, takes a deep breath and her body language transforms from tense to relaxed as she turns the handle.
Attagirl, he thinks, and he exhales. He hadn’t even realised he was holding his breath. She’ll be fine, he thinks. He can rely on her completely. They’ll pull this off.
22
FIVE YEARS EARLIER
Anna’s Journal
I feel as if my feet have hardly touched the ground since I last wrote in here! It’s been a whirlwind.
Everything went more or less back to normal with me and Sasha and I’ve never been so relieved. Even so, I’ve been trying to think of ways I can make it up to her because she’s had a few wobbles and questioned me about how much I trust her and whether she can trust me in return. Once trust is gone it’s almost impossible to rebuild it, she told me. I wish I’d never let her down by going to the party.
At first, I wasn’t sure what I could do, apart from keep turning up at class. I bought her a generous gift, but she said that was unnecessary and she couldn’t be bought. It was hard not to feel despairing that I’d ruined things. Not completely, but enough that it didn’t feel quite the same. I feel as if I owe her, after everything she’s done for me.
But an opportunity to prove myself has come up! Sasha told me that she and Olly have accommodation problems. The landlord is putting up the rent in their flat and they can’t afford it, so they gave notice, but now they’re finding it impossible to rent another place. They’re afraid they’ll have to move out of the area, to somewhere cheaper, but it would mean she’d have to start yoga classes somewhere else as they don’t have a car. I almost felt ill when she told me. The thought that they could disappear from my life is awful. ‘Come and stay with me while you look for somewhere new,’ I told her. ‘For goodness’ sake! Kitty and I rattle around the Manor on our own. I’ve got plenty of room for you. And you can borrow a car to get to class.’
She refused outright at first, saying that it would be too intrusive, that it was too generous of me. ‘Sasha,’ I said. ‘After everything you’ve done for me, it’s theleastI can do.’
‘It’ll be strictly temporary,’ she said. ‘You have to concentrate on rebuilding your life, not on propping up mine.’
‘Helping you will help me,’ I said. ‘You can trust me on that.’
I felt as excited as a little kid the day they arrived. I gave them the guest room at the other end of the Manor from my bedroom, to allow them some privacy. I was honest about the noises I’ve been hearing at night and Olly said he’d listen out for them and help me investigate. Kitty made a lovely dinner for the three of us the first night they arrived, and we ate together in the kitchen. I lit candles and got out the good china and we had a jolly time. Olly is a hoot! He’s got so many good stories and I haven’t laughed that much in ages.
It all went brilliantly for a short while. The Manor House hasn’t felt this full of life for a long time. I don’t think Nick andI ever brought it alive this much; we were too old when we moved in. It is such a joy to see a gorgeous young couple here. But Sasha came to speak to me in private after they’d been with me for about a week. It wasn’t going to work out for them, she said, because I was making such a fuss of them all the time. They found it uncomfortable. All they wanted was somewhere to live that would allow them to work and save. They didn’t need mothering. I was being a bit suffocating. It was too intense. They didn’t want all this special treatment.
I was mortified. ‘I’m so sorry. The last thing I want to do is suffocate you. Please, stay. What will make it easier for you?’
