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But Blake is helping me feel completely at ease.
Just from a simple touch or some comforting words.
This man—this incredible man seems to get me and my needs. And honestly, I don’t want to give this up. But I know the arrangement was only for tonight. After the wedding is over, the fake dating will be, too, and I guess he will simply be my boss again.
And the thought makes my stomach roll.
And in a way, I zone out to all the romance and bullshit that’s happening in front of me.
Like I care about Kyle and Tamara saying their vows and blubbery shit anyway. My mind is spinning, thinking that tomorrow my time with Blake will be done, and this fantasy life I am living with him will all be for nothing.
Adrenaline surges through me, not the good kind, and I can’t help it as I grip Blake’s hand a little tighter. He glances at me, sensing my rising panic, though I am sure he’s mistaking my mood for being upset that Kyle is getting married.
It couldn’t be farther from the truth.
The hurt in his eyes makes me feel even worse as he looks away from me, like seeing me freaking out makes him freak out.
I remove my hand from his as I realize it’s doing me no good to hold onto him. All it is doing is causing me more pain in the long run. I need to start detaching myself from him. Swallowing hard, I focus on Hailee, though I feel Blake is tense as hell beside me.
I want to tell him that I’m not freaking out because of the wedding and that I am freaking out because of us—the fact there can be nous.
But I can’t do that.
I don’t know how he would react to my honesty.
And right now, in the middle of Kyle’s wedding, is not the time for that discussion. So I sit back, watching this ridiculous farcical wedding that’s taking place, internalizing my emotions, waiting for the second this thing ends so I can distract myself with my daughter.
The wedding from hell continues for far too long, in my opinion. I assume that is Tamara’s doing because she wanted it to be so intricate and detailed. I roll my eyes multiple times before they finally exchange their rings and kiss in front of us all, then begin to walk down the aisle as a married couple.
“Finally,” I mumble to myself as everyone stands.
Blake turns to me, reaching out for my hand. “Are you o—”
“Hailee!” I call out, cutting Blake off as I duck past him and rush for my daughter. I don’t want to have this conversation.
Not here.
Not yet.
So I try to push all those thoughts and emotions to the back as I make my way to Hailee, where Barbara’s fussing all over her as I approach. “Starshine, you look so beautiful, like a Disney princess.”
“Oh, Zoey, don’t put those notions in her head. Disney princesses are archaic, and honestly, I thought you, as a modern woman, would be teaching your daughter better values than that.”
I stare at the bitch from hell, wanting more than anything to scream at her for being such a damn prude, but instead, I turn back to Hailee and smile. “You look beautiful, Hailee. You can look like whoever you want to be, my gorgeous girl.”
She glances from her grandmother to me and back to her grandmother. “It’s okay, Grandma. I don’t have to be a princess if you don’t like it.”
Oh my God, I want to strangle Barbara for making Hailee feel like she needs to conform to this woman’s every whim. Barbara taps Hailee on the head and smiles at her. “There’s my little angel.”
I tense all over as I glare at Barbara. “So she can be an angel but not a princess? Double standards much?”
“Zoey, calm down. You’re making a scene at my son’s wedding like Iknewyou would! You don’t want people to see you out of control now, do you?”
Flaring my nostrils, I grab Hailee’s hand and fake smile at Barbara. “We’ll see you at the reception in the Tea Room,Barbara.”
“Don’t be late, Zoey. We need Hailee for the photos of the bridal party.”
“Sure, Barbara,” I reply as I walk off with Hailee.
