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I sigh heavily and watch Sara make herself comfortable in the chair beside me, taking extra long to cater to her bump. Then with a deep breath, I face the harsh reality that I’ve been trying to avoid since the moment I realized what I had to do. “It’s Bri,” I tell her, keeping my tone low. “I need to end it.”
Sara’s eyes widen in shock and her jaw falls slack, staring at me as though she doesn’t even recognize me. “What?” she breathes, pushing right back off the chair and getting to her feet, immediately beginning to pace in outrage. “Why the hell would you do something so stupid?” she demands. “Bri is your perfect match. She’s everything you’ve ever needed and everyone can see how fucking perfect she is for you. Why would you be so stupid as to break up with her? It’s clear to anyone with a pair of eyes that you’re both madly in love with one another.”
“I know,” I sigh, my stomach clenching with the need to be sick. “But she wants more than what I can give her. Kids. Marriage.”
“So?” Sara grunts. “What’s wrong with that? I’m failing to see how that’s a deal breaker. It’s the natural course of any relationship, and it’s clear you’re heading in that direction. I don’t see what the problem is. You’ve been with her for two years now. Don’t you want all of that with her?”
My gaze falls to the untouched glass of juice in front of me as I shake my head. “You have no fucking idea how much I wish I did. If I was going to settle down and do the whole marriage and kids thing, it would be Bri a million times over, but it’s not what I want. She has this perfect vision of how she wants her life to pan out. She wants the big wedding and all the kids running around, and no matter how much I try to change my own mind, I can’t. I’m never going to want those things. I’m content with it being just me and her, but . . .”
“She’s not,” Sara says with a sigh, finally understanding where I’m coming from. She sits down again, her gaze just as heavy as mine. “You need to talk to her, Carter. Just don’t rush into it and end things without offering her a conversation. There might be some kind of middle ground you can find to make this work. She might be okay living without the big wedding and kids.”
“And I’ll never be okay knowing I’m holding her back from the things she desperately wants in life,” I tell her before letting out a sigh. “Of course I’m going to offer her a conversation, but trust me, this isn’t something she’s going to want to negotiate on. She’s either all in or all out. There’s no middle ground here. Brianna isn’t looking to live only half a life. She wants what she wants, and what’s more, she deserves everything, but I just can’t give it to her.”
I pause, bracing my elbows on the counter and dropping my face into my hands. “She said last night that she wants what you and Sean have. She sees how happy you guys are and she wants that for herself, and fuck, Sara. You have no fucking idea how desperately I wish I could give her the world, and the fact that I can’t has me sick to my fucking stomach. It’s not fair for me to let this keep going. It’s so fucking selfish to hold onto her, knowing I’ll never give her what she needs.”
Sara presses her lips into a hard line, her eyes welling with tears, feeling the turmoil that has been plaguing me since the moment Bri uttered the word marriage last night. “I’m so sorry,” she whispers, placing a hand on my shoulder and giving a comforting squeeze. “The two of you are just . . . you’re perfect together, but I understand it, and you’re right. If there’s no way for you to give her the things in life that are going to make her happy, then you have to end it and allow her the chance to move on with someone who will give her what she needs. God, I hate this. I hate that you’re hurting and have to do this. You have no idea how badly I wish I could fix this for you.”
Giving her a comforting smile, I reach up and place my hand over hers on my shoulder. “I don’t expect you to,” I tell her.
“I know,” she smiles. “You and Logan are like brothers to me, so when something hurts you, it hurts me too, and I can’t help but try to fix it for you, but there’s nothing I can do. I just wish I could take away all that pain because the second you talk with her, the second you break her heart, the both of you are going to be devastated, and it’s going to be one hell of a long journey trying to heal and find happiness again.”
