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“You are,” I said, pulling him close. Kai came easily, straddling my lap.
“But I want to be good for me too. I want something that’s mine. I don’t know why I didn’t care about that until recently. It’s not that I don’t think bartending is a valid career. I want to love what I do, and I want to know that I can make it on my own if I need to. But how does that happen if I don’t even know the answer to those questions?”
I nodded because I could understand that. I would be the same way. Helping was easy for me and I wanted to do it, but I got his need for independence, even if I thought sometimes you had to get help to give you the independence you needed. It was why I’d helped Dec with Driftwood and Parker with Beach Buns, and now they were doing it on their own. “Okay…so what do you need from me, baby boy? For me to step back?”
“No. God no. Maybe I should, but I’m too selfish. Plus, you just marked your territory inside me, so I’m basically yours for however long you want me.”
Wasn’t it some shit that I wanted to open my mouth and tell him I wanted him forever? “Then we’ll figure it out. If you want to go home, you can, but I think you should stay here and talk to Dec about the job.”
“That’s going to be a fun conversation. How fucking embarrassing.”
“I can—” He gave me a look, and I chuckled. “Okay, have fun with it, then. But if you need my help, I’m here. Declan will understand. He loves you and doesn’t want to lose you at Driftwood. The rest, we’ll handle together.”
Kai nodded, but I could tell he was unsure how he felt. And while I was happy he was staying, it didn’t change the fact that I knew he didn’t want to. That he hadn’t chosen to be here, hadn’t chosen me. It was just the hand he’d been dealt. It probably made me an asshole that I was glad he wasn’t moving to Atlanta.
“Thank you for liking me the way I am and for always being real with me. That means more to me than you’ll ever know.”
But I wasn’t real with him, not truly. If I were, my ass would have admitted I loved him and had considered locking him in my room to keep him here or following him to Atlanta. That since the last Vers recording, all I’d thought about and hoped was that he’d ask me to go with him.
“Well, you did let me breed you, so that was a good thank-you,” I teased. “Are you going to keep letting me fill your hole with my cum?”
“Yes. God yes. I can feel it inside me, and I’m totally wondering when we can do it again…but I should also put some underwear on, and we should consider getting a new couch.”
I laughed just as my stomach growled.
“Let me feed you.” Kai stood and tugged his trunks on.
“You don’t have to do that.”
“I know. I want to.”
He headed for the kitchen, and something clicked in my head. I didn’t know what took me so long to see it. I stood and followed him. “You like cooking.”
“Yep. Are you just figuring that out?” he joked.
“Maybe that’s your answer, and it’s been staring us in the face the whole time.”
I saw his eyes light up, saw the glimmer there that brightened by the second, and damn if it wasn’t one of the most beautiful things I’d ever seen.
“Culinary school?”
I shrugged. “Why not?”
I could see him working through it, see the wheels turning in Kai’s brain. He was thinking about this. He was seriously considering it. And when he smiled, I knew something had clicked for him as well.
“How, though? It would be expensive…but I could get loans. Between work, bills, and life… Oh my God. Do you think I can do this? Do I want to?” He paused a moment. “Holy shit. I want this. Jesus, Marcus. How in the hell did we not think of this earlier? I love feeding people.”
His excitement was infectious. I felt it rolling off him, seeping into my skin.
“I don’t want to get my hopes up too much.” He looked at me, his eyes glittering with unshed tears. “But I want to do this. I want to do this in ways I’ve never wanted anything else. Atlanta was just because I had to do something. This…” This was important in a different way. It was something he really desired. Kai wrapped his arms around me like it had been me who’d given him something. “I don’t even know if I can make this happen, but thank you. I don’t know what I would do without you.”
